Some might call me crazy, but last week I chose privacy over publicity when it came to the unusual balancing act that now defines my identity as an online publisher.
On Friday I was scheduled to give my first TV interview on the topic of potty training. When I first picked up the interview request, I have to admit that I was pretty excited about the potential exposure the interview could bring for Boston Mamas. The producer wanted to interview me about our potty journey. No problem. Her crew wanted to conduct the interview in my home. No problem (except for the fact that I’d have to clean the house). Oh, and they also wanted to shoot footage of Laurel on the potty.
Some might call me crazy, but last week I chose privacy over publicity when it came to the unusual balancing act that now defines my identity as an online publisher.
On Friday I was scheduled to give my first TV interview on the topic of potty training. When I first picked up the interview request, I have to admit that I was pretty excited about the potential exposure the interview could bring for Boston Mamas. The producer wanted to interview me about our potty journey. No problem. Her crew wanted to conduct the interview in my home. No problem (except for the fact that I’d have to clean the house). Oh, and they also wanted to shoot footage of Laurel on the potty.
With a potty-trained peanut on my hands, public restrooms are both a blessing and a curse. I’m grateful for their existence but freaked by the potential germ factor. Not to mention that our current system – I lay a (wishfully hygienic) layer of tissue on the seat, squat in front of Laurel so she can plant her feet on my thighs, and wrap my arms around her waist so she doesn’t fall into the hole – is utterly uncomfortable.
None of these issues seem to bother Laurel, but in anticipation of our travel this past weekend (i.e., exponential increase in the need to use public restrooms), I ordered One Step Ahead’s Folding Potty Seat and it was a huge success. This seat is remarkably compact folded, and unfolds to provide a sturdy, secure potty seat. The seat also has handles so your kid can hold onto those instead of the toilet itself. This travel potty, which provided me with sanitary peace of mind and Laurel with a comfortable place to go potty, is a steal at $12.95.
Never was the difference between the handling of boys vs. girls more humorously apparent than during a park visit a while back. I held Laurel’s hand as she crossed a suspended balance beam repeating, “Go slowly Laurel, be careful!” (The suspension cables looked particularly unforgiving.) Minutes later, as we crossed the next obstacle, we saw a father jumping up and down alongside his son (who was of a similar toddler/preschooler size) at the balance beam, saying “Go! Go! Go! Run across as fast as you can!”
No doubt boys and girls are raised differently, and they also have different needs, some of which have trouble getting fulfilled in our current societal structure. This topic has not escaped the pros, and this morning, Jon (my husband) steps in with a guest post, offering his impressions of the PBS documentary Raising Cain: Boys in Focus.
My mom and I never discussed menstruation (or anything related to sexuality, short of a discussion well into my 20’s where she advised me to beware, that “men have urges”), and that phase of life vividly stands out as one of anxiety (I was a late bloomer), cluelessness (I had but brief, periodic perusals of my pal Kate’s Our Bodies, Ourselves
, and general confusion (when my period finally did come I had no gear).
The Dot Girl’s First Period Kit was designed to try to curb these all too frequent female experiences. The pink or blue carry kit ($18) includes a 12-page booklet with answers to common questions about periods, a yearlong calendar to track periods, a small reusable heating pad for soothing cramps, pad and liner samples, and hand wipes. (The case is just a bit too small for standard length tampons, but compact tampons would fit fine.)
What a difference a week makes.
Whether it was my shift in attitude, the time/learning factor, or an interaction between the two, Week 2 of potty training was a complete reversal from the previous week’s soggy adventures. With one or no accidents per day, a subsequent decrease in laundry, and longer stretches between potty visits, it finally feels as if the axis around which our life is spinning is moving from the bathroom.
We’re not out of the woods yet, but while it’s fresh on my mind (and since I have received some inquiries about the methods behind our madness) the following is our collection of potty training tips to date. Readers, if you have additional tips, post a comment!
Just in time for another chilly weekend…a local reader wrote in with high praise for Together in Motion in Arlington. This drop in play space offers Motion & More play sessions geared towards children ages 0-6 (every day of the week!). Admission rates are $7 for kids 1 year and up and $5 for kids under 1 year (infants under 6 months are admitted free when tagging along with a sibling). Group and individual multi-pass discounts also are available.
Together in Motion also soon will offer group exercise classes for women, including parallel sessions where kids can play while mom is working out. Check out their current schedule; birthday party services also are available on weekends.
Together in Motion, One Broadway, Arlington, Tel: 781-643-1377
It’s a good thing we have a big bathroom.
This weekend we officially took the plunge and started potty training; life thus has revolved around finding ways to entertain our extremely busy toddler while staying close to home (i.e., our bathroom loaded with changes of underwear, pants, and socks for Laurel).
No doubt we’ll have more to report on regarding useful potty training products and strategies, but suffice to say the first item that already has provided excellent peace of mind during local errands is the previously reported on Kiddopotamus Piddle Pad. Laundry volume already is on the rise and we're thrilled to avoid having to strip the car seat regularly.
We have some dear friends who are about a month out of the “fourth trimester boot camp” phase and they have started working on finding some consistency with their babe’s naps and nighttime sleep. They highly recommend Marc Weissbluth’s Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child
($10.17 at Amazon).
A pediatrician and established researcher in the field of sleep and children, Weissbluth describes methods to implement healthy sleep habits within the framework of a child's natural sleep cycles. The book also offers coping strategies for common nighttime issues (e.g., nightmares, bedwetting), discusses common sleep pitfalls, and explores varying sleep needs depending on a child’s temperament.
Click here for further description of popular sleep methods (e.g., Sears, Ferber, Pantley, Karp).
After a very long week, the household finally seems to be turning a corner.
I’m on the mend, we’re taking control of the dust bunnies, and Laurel’s nasty diaper rash is heading to the exit. On the latter, in addition to our air out method, Triple Paste – recommended when we finally called the pediatrician – ended up working very effectively. (Unfortunately, it turned out we had misdiagnosed the yeast rash, thus rendering the antifungal treatment useless.)
Triple Paste is a fragrance-free, over-the-counter compound that includes petrolatum, zinc oxide, lanolin, beeswax, and cornstarch. This thick paste applies smoothly, stays put, and is excellent for severe diaper rash (although it's also gentle enough for preventative use or treatment of mild rashes). We picked ours up at CVS but if you have trouble finding it locally, Triple Paste also is available on Amazon; the smallest size is 2 oz.
($8).
Hooray for more local indoor play spaces!
Kid's Fun Stop is suitable for children up to 6 years old, and offers drop in play (they have some impressive looking indoor climbing structures!), birthday parties, movement classes, and craft classes. Bring snacks for your babe to enjoy in the snack room, or purchase from the selection available.
Kid’s Fun Stop is open Monday - Friday 10am - 6pm and for birthday parties on the weekends. Click here for rates (starting at $10 for two hours of drop in time); repeat visitor punch cards are available, as well as periodic discounts on admission and birthday party booking.
Kid’s Fun Stop, 1580 VFW Pkwy, West Roxbury, Tel: 617-325-0800
I know a lot of hip and stylish grandmas out there, but they get little focused due in the retail market (try Googling the topic and among your first hits will be medication pill boxes). An inquiry from a friend/reader from Los Angeles - whose mom is about to become a new grandma - inspired me to collect some gift ideas that have proven to be winners with grandparents.
Artwork, including anything from sticker collages to scribbles to paint, is at the top of my list; an inexpensive frame adds a professional finish. If you have an infant, however, other picks include photo gifts such as albums, calendars, or photo coasters (ordered easily through services such as Kodak EasyShare Gallery
Back in the day (i.e., my early 20’s) I was really fit; as in, hit the gym at 5:30am on my way to work fit. Not surprisingly, those days are long gone and despite my efforts to keep up my gym membership, our relocation and my new schedule have made the gym less accessible.
Imagine my delight, then, when I learned about the stylish and portable Sane Fitness QuickStart Deck ($24.95). Comprised of 3 workouts (with a suggested plan for a 6-week full-body program) that can be done at home with minimal equipment or at the gym, this series is perfect for busy mamas. You’ll need to start with 20 minutes of cardio (does chasing a toddler around the house count?); otherwise each workout involves a mere 11 moves (6 full body exercises, 2 abdominals, 3 stretches). It can’t get faster than that. In the next 6 months Sane Fitness also will roll out a complete fitness deck with 6 months of workouts, and "Sane Preggers," a workout system designed specifically for expecting mamas.
Use the coupon code “FitMama” to receive a 20% discount at Sane Fitness directly; also available at Amazon.
I recently chatted with some mama pals about time-outs. We actually have yet to use them, given that our 2-year old hasn’t been prone to aggression (her exploration into hitting was brief), and usually can be redirected by distraction. However, my friends’ kids are 4-5 months older than Laurel, so it’s certainly possible that time-outs will become necessary in the future. It seemed like a good time to do a little research.
A popular misconception is that time-outs are a form of punishment; in fact, time-outs are more effective when they are used to shape behavior instead of punish. When used as punishment, time-outs are negative, keep the anger percolating, and do nothing to turn the tide of the misbehavior. In contrast, when a time-out is used to break the misbehavior, it offers a short window during which both child and parent can change up the mojo, reflect, and cool off. BabyCenter offers an article describing time-out parameters and strategies; Dr. Sears offers a helpful set of 10 tips, including strategies on how to prepare children for time-outs, time-out length (about 1 minute per year of age; for older children you can tailor time to fit the crime, as it were), and time-out location (typically a boring, neutral place).
Our quick and easy bedtime routine evaporated when we moved a couple of weeks ago. Pre-move, after stories we could leave the room and Laurel would happily chat and sing her way to sleep. Now there’s a lot of stalling and sadness if we try to leave when she is awake. From what we could understand from Laurel, she was scared of the dark.
While our move clearly changed things, a conversation with the mom of one of Laurel’s pals – who, even as the world’s most unflappable toddler, recently has become fearful of the dark – prompted me to look further into night fears.
Isn't it marvelous that play = learning for little ones? If you need a change of scenery from your current toys, space, and recycling bin (location of some of our babe's most fascinating finds), check out the Play Academy in Medford. Highly recommended by a Boston area mama, the Play Academy was founded and developed by a mother of two. Weekly classes (ages 3 months and up) are designed to stimulate cognitive, social and emotional development; you can register for sessions in blocks of 10 ($140), 15 ($195), or 20 ($240) weeks. Play Academy also hosts birthday parties.
Play Academy, 25 Riverside Avenue, Medford; Tel: 1-781-738-PLAY
I have an unofficial Mama Hall of Fame; among the members are a Canadian friend who has the most impressive poop-removal/soak/double-launder cloth diapering routine I’ve ever witnessed, and a local pal who – at about 79 lbs. soaking wet – nursed her first child for 26 months, her twins for 16 months, and is at 16 months and counting with her 4th baby.
This week there’s a new inductee on the block. The son of a dear friend unfortunately had latch on problems right off the bat. Continued efforts and extra time in the hospital were unsuccessful. My girlfriend, who experienced a long labor and lots of pushing, a C-section when things didn't progress, and manual expression of colostrum from her breasts by the nursing staff (ouch), was in dire need of a break.
There isn't much sex appeal associated with pumping (I believe Jon let out an extended, definitive, and less than supportive "mooo!" when he first saw me pump), but if you’d like to feel - as a mama pal describes - “vaguely like [an Austin Powers] femme bot” (while pumping efficiently of course), try the Easy Expressions Bustier.
A terrific pump at work solution, the bustier makes hands-free double pumping easy through a strapless, zip-front design. Available in small (32-34), medium (34-36), large (38-40), and extra-large (42-44) for $33.95 (see the 
During a recent park outing I saw an elderly Asian man playing with his granddaughter, and I immediately was overcome with sadness over the loss of my father, who died last year. Before I knew it, tears were leaking out of my eyes and Laurel was saying “Uh oh, Mommy sad! Mommy crying!” When I told Laurel I was crying because I missed my “Aboji” (father, in Korean) she said “Aboji, up high in the sky!” at which point I nearly needed to crawl into the tube slide to compose myself.
It’s difficult for me to imagine that Laurel actually remembers her interactions with my father; she was only 10 months old when he died, although we did see him 2-3 times a week during the last 6 months of his life. Obviously, at that time we couldn't converse with Laurel about death, but ever since she became verbal enough to ask about my father in pictures or inquire about him at “Aboji’s party” (recent one year memorial service) we have had to think more about how to communicate the concept of death to Laurel.
Among the many resources offered to patients and caregivers, Hospice provides a detailed article on how to talk to children about death; ParentCenter (a branch of BabyCenter) offers suggestions on how to approach the subject with preschoolers and older kids.