During a recent park outing I saw an elderly Asian man playing with his granddaughter, and I immediately was overcome with sadness over the loss of my father, who died last year. Before I knew it, tears were leaking out of my eyes and Laurel was saying “Uh oh, Mommy sad! Mommy crying!” When I told Laurel I was crying because I missed my “Aboji” (father, in Korean) she said “Aboji, up high in the sky!” at which point I nearly needed to crawl into the tube slide to compose myself.
It’s difficult for me to imagine that Laurel actually remembers her interactions with my father; she was only 10 months old when he died, although we did see him 2-3 times a week during the last 6 months of his life. Obviously, at that time we couldn't converse with Laurel about death, but ever since she became verbal enough to ask about my father in pictures or inquire about him at “Aboji’s party” (recent one year memorial service) we have had to think more about how to communicate the concept of death to Laurel.
Among the many resources offered to patients and caregivers, Hospice provides a detailed article on how to talk to children about death; ParentCenter (a branch of BabyCenter) offers suggestions on how to approach the subject with preschoolers and older kids.
During a recent park outing I saw an elderly Asian man playing with his granddaughter, and I immediately was overcome with sadness over the loss of my father, who died last year. Before I knew it, tears were leaking out of my eyes and Laurel was saying “Uh oh, Mommy sad! Mommy crying!” When I told Laurel I was crying because I missed my “Aboji” (father, in Korean) she said “Aboji, up high in the sky!” at which point I nearly needed to crawl into the tube slide to compose myself.
It’s difficult for me to imagine that Laurel actually remembers her interactions with my father; she was only 10 months old when he died, although we did see him 2-3 times a week during the last 6 months of his life. Obviously, at that time we couldn't converse with Laurel about death, but ever since she became verbal enough to ask about my father in pictures or inquire about him at “Aboji’s party” (recent one year memorial service) we have had to think more about how to communicate the concept of death to Laurel.
Among the many resources offered to patients and caregivers, Hospice provides a detailed article on how to talk to children about death; ParentCenter (a branch of BabyCenter) offers suggestions on how to approach the subject with preschoolers and older kids.
Aside from the general chaos factor, having a second baby presents a transport issue, particularly if your first still requires periodic strolling.
A mama friend gives major kudos to the Valco Runabout Tri Mode stroller ($425 at 
As a music and brain scientist, the innateness of music appeared irrefutable when I saw my babe flap her arms to music (before she could walk), squat/bounce on her chubby haunches at her piano (during the cruising phase), and collectively rock out with her toddler friends at day care (think hoedown meets toddler mosh pit).
So why not keep feeding that natural creative spirit? Music Together offers music making programs for babes (infants – kindergarteners) and their caregivers. And it’s okay if you lost your musical mojo sometime en route to adulthood. The trained professionals will help you discover fun ways to be musical with your babe.
Use Music Together's class locator to check nationwide and international offerings. Among the many locations across Massachusetts, I've heard great things about Music Together of Cambridge & Brookline (also offering classes in Boston & Charlestown). In addition to your set of nine 45-minute classes ($195; sibling discount = $90; babes under 1 year old are free with registered sibling), fees include musical goodies (e.g., CDs, songbook, activities), a handbook on developmental music research, and, if desired, an assessment of your child’s music development.
We’re lucky to be part of a generation of super involved and invested dads. “Peek! A Thai Hide-and-Seek” portrays a loving father/daughter relationship through imaginative writing and illustration within a lush, cultural context. Minfong Ho creates a catchy and playful rhyme scheme engaging a host of jungle creatures; Holly Meade’s watercolor and cut-paper collage work is a feast for eyes of all ages.
“Peek!” lists as appropriate for ages 4-8 but much younger babes will love listening to the rhyme scheme, naming the jungle animals, and finding the hiding toddler on each page.
Available at Amazon, regularly $16.99; currently on sale for $11.55.
Mamahood apparently comes without the warning label that potential side effects may include creative liberation and career change.
Case in point: Teri Dimalanta of giddygiddy, a self proclaimed “investment analyst turned craftaholic mom” (whose story is similar to my own). The giddygiddy collection features clips in the form of flowers (big and little blooms), food (fruits, veggies, and treats), and the cutest little animal collection you’ve ever seen (shown, “bow wow”; all clips are $8 each). And Teri’s clever styling goes beyond the "oohs!" and "aahs!" effect; the metal snap clip is sewn snuggly into the felt design to avoid snags, and stay put in fine baby hair.
What a pity that my food poisoning induced “labor” precluded use of our doula (the services of which were available gratis via participation in a doula study at our hospital). As first time parents, my husband and I loved the idea of having a childbirth expert in the room to take the pressure off of Jon, and keep our multi-paged (!) birthing plan on track.
Of course, the birthing plan and doula went out the window when I had my emergency C-section. So while I am unable to provide a personal reference, a dear mama friend from Cambridge – who searched long and hard for her doula – offers high praise for the following resource:
I’m writing on the heels of a local move that went impressively well, both logistically and toddler-istically; I thought I would pass on moving tips before the packing peanuts go to my head.
Logistical suggestions: 1) hire movers (once you have kids – and all of their gear – it’s time to stop hitting up your friends for moving help); 2) confirm your moving appointment (we would have been waiting around a long time had we not done this); 3) line up an extra set of hands to help with your kid(s) if you are moving on the weekend (Auntie Sha-Sha was a godsend on moving day); 4) ruthlessly prune your belongings; and 5) if possible, donate or sell items before or during your move. You’ll not be surprised by the correlation between discard rate and remaining packing time.
Kid-specific suggestions (they require more description and thus, separate paragraphs…):
1. Keep as many variables constant as possible. For example, if you’re thinking about weaning or potty training or transition to a big kid bed, wait until after the move. Set up your babe’s bedding and critical comfort objects as soon as you get to your new home. Keep to your basic routines as best you can.
I recently heard someone refer to Arlington as the new Cambridge. I won’t get into that argument in detail, but the fabulously yummy Za - minutes from the Cambridge/Arlington line - offers strong evidence for the case file.
Za followed the closing of Full Moon, the closing of which was a mystery given Full Moon’s seemingly steady stream of customers. Za has stepped up to the task, though, serving gourmet pizzas and salads that are suitable for both adults and kids. Kids will delight in the bright artwork and pig sculptures; the staff happily will fill up your sippy with milk, chocolate milk, or apple juice.
Za offers a regular menu (build your own and specialty pizzas, the latter of which change on occasion) as well as chalkboard specials that change more frequently and incorporate seasonal ingredients often garned from local farms. Za also recently made a smart move in developing a fine dessert menu.
The citrus infused beet, pea green, and goat cheese salad is spectacular, as is the Portobello mushroom (with roasted red pepper, caramelized onion, roasted garlic, and goat cheese) specialty pizza.
Za, 138 Mass. Ave., Arlington, Tel: 781-316-2334
A mama friend needs help! Her mother-in-law (MIL) appears to have a hang up about feeding her grandchildren unapproved and/or inappropriate food. Some data: 1) MIL fed my friend’s nephew his first solids (without his parents approval obviously), which resulted in a mild facial rash; 2) MIL tried to feed my friend’s daughter ice cream when she was an infant (luckily the parents were there to intervene); 3) MIL fed my friend’s daughter three new (i.e., not yet allergy tested) foods in one day, including meat, finger foods, and refined sugar products. The behavior persists despite repeated admonishments, conversations, interventions, instructions, and piles of prepared baby food.
At an emotional level, it is frustrating that MIL stole some major feeding milestones from these parents. MIL also doesn’t seem concerned about deviating from the food instructions provided, or the possibility of dealing with allergic reactions (or leaving it to the parents to deal with them). But MIL clearly loves her grandkids (she’s part of the weekly care routine) so what gives?
Our babe recently picked up a nasty little yeast rash along with what appeared to be Coxsackie virus. She was generally in very good spirits, with not much in the way of fever and just a few tiny blisters on her feet and hands, but her bum was looking pretty bad. After a couple of days of diaper treatment, combing my baby manual and the web, and consulting with a couple mama friends, I finally decided it was time to check in with the doctor.
For the most part, time, fluids, and Tylenol are the best treatments for Coxsackie; but our pediatrician did recommend a great tip for the yeast rash. Typical application of antifungal creams is limited to twice a day, thus shortening the time window that the cream can work away at the yeast rash. Our doctor suggested making a 50/50 mix of antifungal cream and diaper cream, thus allowing the antifungal cream to continually treat the yeast rash while still creating a protective barrier via the diaper cream.
A new season is nearly upon us, a time made complicated by burning fashion desire + limited resources. A while back, my fabulous mama friend Paige hosted a terrific ladies’ event that perfectly suited said fashion desire + limited resources issue.
The event was a fashion swap, before which everyone weeded out their closets and laundered their fashionable, yet now tragically ill-fitting items. Wine and fondue accompanied the initial open browsing period; we then picked numbers out of a hat and, in order, went shopping. The only rules were that we only select one item per go around (so those later in the order had plenty to choose from), and that we tell the other ladies about our super cool find. It was a great way to relax with friends, refurbish wardrobes, and chat about the stories behind some of the clothes.
As it turned out, the event kept on giving. Even after everyone had shopped ‘til they dropped, there remained a pile of great clothing with lots of love and sass left in them. These items were donated to a local Goodwill.
What’s not to love about Global Girlfriend? This online fair trade boutique offers unique handmade items made by women's non-profit programs and cooperatives worldwide. Proceeds support a host of women’s organizations, including Rosie’s Place in Boston.
Global Girlfriend offers apparel and accessories, jewelry, gifts, and décor items. A great pick is the Bold Silk Cosmetic Bag in pink and orange ($12). Made from 100% silk, this bag is handmade by a Southern Indian fair trade group that provides sustainable employment, competitive wages, as well as free meals, health care and education for employees and their children.
Canada is a great place to be a mama. Everyone has access to health care, typical maternity leave is one year, and homegrown products and resources for babies and moms abound.
One of my Canadian mama pals from graduate school pointed me to a couple of especially cool companies. Milkface.com offers a cute array of nursing clothing (check out the comfy and stylish tops!), nursing supplies, and slings. The cloth diapering products from Motherease.com also get high marks. Designed by a seasoned mom who grew tired of the cumbersome and leaky workings of traditional cloth diapering systems, the patented Motherease design offers a snug and streamlined fit for excellent function and comfort.
Both companies ship to the US and internationally.
Traveling with a babe isn’t exactly relaxing, but the right toys (and, if you are lucky, temperament) can make a trip enormously easier.
We just returned from a long weekend involving 8 hours roundtrip car/boat travel. We planned our timing carefully, scheduling the longest car leg over mid-day nap. Based on previous travel experiences, the options were: 1) use naptime to travel; 2) spend 2 hours twisted uncomfortably picking up dropped books and toys; or 3) try ineffectively to placate squirmy, screechy babe.
Our well-laid plans of course went out the window. In one direction we hit traffic that woke the babe up for the remainder of the drive; on the way back she didn’t sleep at all because she had fallen asleep during the earlier 45-minute ride to the ferry. We thought we were doomed, but: 1) the babe was in terrific spirits (i.e., she enjoyed babbling to herself and singing songs); and 2) we were armed with the Anatex Shape ‘n Color Coaster.
A major wow factor of toddler development is the wide disparity between what toddlers comprehend and what they are able to communicate verbally. “I Like it When…” by Mary Murphy ($6.95 at Amazon) offers plenty of opportunities for little ones to show you just how much they know.
The little penguin likes holding hands, dancing, splashing about, and more with the older caretaking penguin. Your babe will delight in acting out the story; you will be blown away when you receive a kiss goodnight.
For an outing equally enriching for both parents and babes, head to Barefoot Books in Cambridge, where the wide array of books, toys, artwork, and magical spaces are imbued with rich artistry and mindful, creative storytelling for all ages. Books for younger babes offer the opportunity to learn about colors, numbers, and objects in smooth, soothing color palettes; books for older kids frame entertaining stories in the context of embracing diversity and culture, multigenerational bonds, and the value of creativity. The approach to storytelling is multimodal: many books include story CDs and offer an accompanying line of music CDs, artwork, and toys; the Folkmanis Puppet Line ($9.99-$21.99) allows kids to continue storytelling, even after you are done reading the words on the page.
Founded by two mamas who started their business out of home so they could continue to be close to their children, Barefoot Books is keen on helping other parents across the globe do the same. Their Barefoot Stallholder program provides support to develop home-based businesses; they also offer the opportunity to earn money and free products by hosting Barefoot Parties.
Check out their current schedule for free events and promotions; you’ll want to make a habit of stopping in for story hour, currently Fridays and Saturdays at 10:30am.
Barefoot Books, 1771 Massachusetts Avenue, Cambridge, Tel: 617-349-1610
Baby showers typically leave you with stacks of onesies, but the clever and stylish designs from Lotus Children are sure to rise to the top of your pile. Founded by a mama in search of comfy, appropriate clothing for her little yogi, Lotus Children offers a series of om-worthy designs across their collections for babies (“Omsie” shown in Upward Dog - $22, pants, t-suits) and toddlers (short and long sleeve t-shirts, pants up to size 6).
Pursuant to a recent post on dining out with babes, I’m writing fresh on the heels of dinner out with the babe. It was time to give her another chance. We hit Tu Y Yo in Somerville where the staff is friendly and courteous and our waitress was especially kind. When I ordered a glass of milk for the babe and was fumbling around for the sippy cup, the waitress offered to fill the cup up directly. When she returned, it was clear – from the warmth of the cup and the lack of peanut butter stains – that she had washed out the sippy cup before filling it up. I truly was touched.
The food at Tu Y Yo is terrific; I just wish I had had a chance to really enjoy it. In reality, the babe was super; she sat in the booster seat for about 15-20 minutes entertaining herself with a saltshaker. In retrospect, we probably should have used this time to walk her around and saved the saltshaker for dinner time. When the food arrived, she picked a little, but otherwise was ready to be up and toddling around. We spent the next 15 minutes trying to wolf down our food, entertain her, and keep her from petting the man sitting behind us.