Today, Jules shares an important lesson learned from her miscarriage. And resources to share with those in need:
October is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, and having miscarried just a few weeks ago, the month holds a very new meaning for me. I was ten weeks pregnant when I stared in a blurry eyed panic at that flat line on the screen...just one week earlier, I had seen that fantastically fast flicker of my baby's perfect heartbeat. I was crushed, and at my D&C the following day, the tears flowed heavily, particularly knowing that, ironically, it was the labor and delivery entrance that took us to the day surgery ward where the fetus -- and my high hopes -- would be removed.
My doctor was wonderful and my family incredibly supportive, but the pain remains so very palpable. Many, many woman who have suffered similar losses came forward in support of me, and I learned that too few (two to be exact) were referred to support services. As a licensed clinical social worker, I was shocked to not receive a referral or even a simple flyer for a support group or resources on managing grief. Everyone going through this type of loss needs to have emotional support offered to her. The hugs and condolences were thoughtful but the real help has been in knowing that I am not alone -- that many women have been through what I've been through, and that it is okay (helpful, even) to take the time to be sad and grieve the loss. Initially I felt silly grieving the loss of something I never had, but the support and refusal of my friends to allow me to isolate myself has shown me a real sense of the importance of camaraderie between women following a struggle with a miscarriage. So today I wanted to share some resources where you can find solidarity and give voice to your feelings if you are currently grieving or find yourself in this position at some point in the future.
Do you have other recommended resources for bereavement support? If so, please feel welcome to share in the comments below.
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