Coming from a family of 7 where hand me downs were the norm, middle school offered tough love on the fashion front. At lunch, the exclusion factor was especially obvious via a table of girls who set inclusion parameters as owning at least 5 pairs of Guess jeans and 5 Benetton sweaters.
Some great friends kept me grounded during that time, but it’s hard not to feel disheartened that Laurel no doubt will face her own version of this scenario in the future. The good news is that today, our parent education specialist Amy Cody offers a great resource to help you help your daughter survive cliques and other inevitable adolescent nasties:
“As my daughter and I suffered through her middle school friendship situations, I kept a book by my bed that I referred to as some would to a bible. In Queen Bees and Wannabes, Rosalind Wiseman uses the knowledge she has garnered from more than a decade of listening to thousands of adolescent girls talk about the all-powerful clique to let parents into that often notorious circle of influence that shapes their teenage daughters personas. She dissects each role of the clique, including Queen Bees, Wannabes, Sidekicks, and Torn Bystanders, and discusses girls' power plays; from birthday invitations to cafeteria seating arrangements to illicit parties. She goes on to candidly address sensitive issues like teasing, gossip, and reputations, beauty and fashion, and social taboos like alcohol, drugs, boys, and sex. In our world of fast-paced media and marketing influences, it seems to me that the powerful influence of cliques is affecting our daughters earlier than ever before.
Enlivened with the voices of dozens of girls and parents, and Wiseman's welcome sense of humor, this book offers a conversation piece and reference guide that perfectly lends itself to discussion and shared insights into the world that is your daughter's: the world of friendships, Queen Bees, and Wannabees.”