As a current fulltime working/ pumping mom of 2 under 2, I have faced this issue as well. My advice: tune it out and have confidence to let your motherly instincts prevail! Good luck.

You have a tough situation.

I feel your husband should be giving you more support on this and talking with his mom about your combined feelings about breastfeeding/formula.

I would recommend when she puts that pressure on you to say that right now you're doing great on the breastfeeding and the baby is getting all the nutrition he/she needs. If it comes up that you aren't producing enough milk for the baby you'd consider formula and would love her thoughts on the matter when it comes up. But, until then, breastfeeding is the way you're going and you'd appreciate other help (i.e., make dinner for you -- you need to eat to feed the baby :-)

Good luck!

Love these suggestions - my MIL was formula obsessed but never went this far.

I'd DEFINITELY get your husband to talk to her. Let him deal with it.

And then come up with some great things that SHE can give you. Like really expensive bedding, a stroller, etc.

:)

I am sorry to hear your MIL is not supportive of your ability to breastfeed. So many of my friends were unable to breastfeed or weren't able to keep up with a famished child. I love being able to breastfeed and suggest reading Working Mom/Breastfeeding Mom (not sure if that is the correct title) as it was helpful in figuring out pumping and transitioning.
MY ADVICE AS TO MIL: maybe allow her to see how much your chld enjoys breastfeeding and what a great bonding experience it is. Maybe she doesn't understand because she never breastfed her children.

Don't know if this helps but in hindsight, I was so obsessed with breastfeeding (and hated pumping so much) that I drove myself crazy trying to wake up and nurse all night every night and be with my son all day every day and ended up making myself and every adult around me miserable.

I know it can feel like our parents' generation is cavalier about formula, but I sometimes feel like ours is oversold on breastfeeding - certainly a lot of the books imply that the baby will die or be psychologically maimed if you ever get a break and - gasp! - they drink a bottle.

Also, breastfeeding is only free if the mom's time isn't worth anything...

How about taking your MIL to the pediatrician with you so that the doctor can explain some of the many benefits of breastfeeding to her, and explain that your baby will thrive on just breast milk.

The health benefits of breastfeeding are enormous, and study after study shows this. (The newest one was reported in the NY Times just last week).

The problem with formula use is that it perpetuates more formula use- formula is used, so milk production goes down, so more formula is used, etc...

I know many full-time working moms have trouble keeping up their milk supply while pumping, and end up using some formula. But why would she think that your baby isn't getting enough nutrition now, when you are still on maternity leave and able to nurse? This is what our bodies were designed to do, and it is the best thing you can do for your baby. If your mother in law disagrees, then she should better inform herself about all the health benefits of breastfeeding, for both mother and child.

My mom acted similarly. She kept saying that the baby couldn't possibly be getting enough to eat just by breastfeeding and kept trying to get me to supplement with formula, and when I wasn't around she would sometimes give the baby extra bottles of expressed milk or formula between feedings (she was living with us). My only advice is to keep repeating, "We're not using formula. Please stop asking about it," ad infinitum. The good thing about the formula issue is that it passes pretty quickly -- once your baby starts solids, she'll probably back off.

I agree with Christine: tune her out. And talk to yourself. Say

Breastfeeding is wonderful and I was fortunate enough to give my daughter breastmilk through her first 11 months, even though I was working full time starting at 3 months. Thus, my love-hate relationship with the pump.

Giving a baby a bottle of pumped breastmilk now and then (or everyday) is a good thing. It gives the mother a break and allows the father or others in the family to participate with feeding.

Allowing your MIL to give the baby a bottle of your pumped milk may resolve the issue easily without hurt feelings and great nutrition to the baby.

This is a tough issue and likely isn't the first you will have with your MIL. Just wait until you decide to start solid food...

So sorry that you have to deal with this situation, on top of having to prepare for returning to work. I agree with all of the comments and advice above, especially asking your husband for some help.

I'd also add: Have you tried asking your MIL why she is so intent on the formula? Is it because (a) she's worried about about your baby's weight gain, (b) she's worried about the stress on you / your family, (c) she wants to participate in helping to feed your child, (d) she actually (mistakenly) thinks formula is better nutrition, (e) something else, or (f) she hasn't even thought about why she is pushing so hard? It seems that understanding her underlying motivation may help you figure out how best to respond. If (a), you can tell her that your child is doing fine at checkups. If (b), you can ask her to help relieve the stress in some other way. If (c), you can offer her a bottle of expressed milk to give the baby. Etc.

And if you are looking for some more support, I highly recommend this article which gives a totally different cultural perspective on breastfeeding (and also had me laughing out loud):

http://www.momzelle.com/blog/inspiration/breastfeeding-in-mongolia/

These are great suggestions Christine. I wanted to put in a quick plug for another great post on this topic:

http://theperfectlatch.wordpress.com/2007/10/22/a-plea-to-mils-and-mums-everywhere-oh-and-dads-of-course/

I pumped, and worked full time, until my daughter was 15 months old. I breasfed until she was 19 months old.
You can do it, just ignore her. Donate the formula, or return it. Also, make your husband deal with it too. We have a deal in our family. If it is your parent that is the issue, you get to deal with them. We stand as a family unit, but you get to deal with your own parents.

I love your suggestions! My favorite was mail it back. As a new mom myself I have gotten this same pressure from some people. I don't know why people want to feed your baby. I ask them to change diapers instead! I say I'll take care of what goes in, if you take care of what comes out. Also, you could ask her to go food shopping for you instead, or make you meals, since your body does such a great job of feeding your baby.

I agree with the folks who suggest having MiL give the baby a bottle, even if you have to manufacture a babysitting "need". That is, if you are pumping as most of us seem to assume. I'm sorry you have to deal with the stress!

Not to add additional stress, but I think the way you handle this is v impt because it sets precedents for future interactions. She needs to learn to accept that this is your child and you & your hubby are calling the shots. Make it lovingly clear that, although you might benefit from/enjoy hearing about her experiences, they are but one of the sources you are drawing together to make your decisions. If you can musterthe patience to listen to her experience with your husband & her other children, she might feel better & you may actually learn something interesting about his past!

To all of you awesome Boston Mamas- It is Susan and I can't thank you enough for all of these suggestions. I was really lacking support too so to see all of you weigh in has meant soooooo much and it is great that I don't feel alone anymore (being on maternity leave can do that to a girl huh!). I am planning to combine a number of these suggestions for when this comes up next starting with "the facts" then the "redirect" as Christine mentions and then on down the suggestions if that doesn't do enough. THANK YOU EVERYONE!!!!!! XOXOXOXO

I feel your aggravation 100%! I had the same exact issue where my boyfriend's mother was being so negative since pregnancy where she would say things like, "You're not going to breastfeed for more than a second!" Low and behold, my son is four months old and has not touched a drop of formula! (Granted I barely work part time now). She didn't really understand the concept of breastfeeding or get that it's much healthier and cheaper than that formula stuff. Honestly, I shook it off as ignorance and unneeded negativity because I know I trust my boobs to feed my quickly-growing baby and that I have enough confidence to shut her out. After awhile, I moved in with my mother who breastfed my brother and I and was a much better support. Just be confident! You can do it!