Hallelujah, Sheri! Nothing keeps us from our bedtime reading with our two boys, no matter how tired we are or frustrated with their endless, wonderful questions. At 3 and 5, they both love books and have strong pre-reading skills, and it feels good to know that some of it has to do with our parental commitment to literacy.

Great post! I *so* want my kids to love to read.

Great post Sheri! One my daughter favorite things to do each Saturday morning is going to the library and getting a new batch of books for th week!

Hi Sherri..what a great job!!You are not only a great educator .but a great advocate for children and literacy!!

Great article! My mother is also a teacher and told me to read to my son from his birth, even though he will not show much interest initially. He is now 19 months old and books are one of his favorite toys, he always takes one with him when we travel. He was able to hold a book and turn the pages at 6 months, at just over a year he was "reading" books to us. This article will help me keep his love of books!

I have a question for Sherri and for other readers: It seems to me that a treat is not something that is always given, whereas a responsibility is required every time. I would not withhold tooth-brushing for bad behavior (although if the bad behavior involved toothbrushes or paste, I might do it for him). I would withhold a priveledge, and have been known to lock away toys for a week. My son and I have always read at bedtime, for half an hour when he was tiny, now for varying lengths of time. There are times when his behavior approaching bedtime is generally off the mark--not one big bad misbehavior, but just generally a pain--that I will threaten no reading time, and if he continues, we will indeed not read that evening or make it very short. He tests me on this occasionally, such as slapping me with a wet washcloth and immediately saying 'I want to read'. Am I crazy to withhold reading as a way to emphasize that it is fun, not a drab responsibility?

By, the way, if this has slowed his reading down, it hasn't been by much. He's been reading since he was 3 or 4, is into chapter books now at 6--Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Charlotte's Web, Alice in Wonderland, etc. When he's reading at a slightly higher level--Hans Brinker and the Silver Skates, for example--he tends to still want me to read out loud to him, which irritates me; I'd rather have him read those to me so I can help with the rough patches. But I usually do read it to him, with the only stipulation being he has to look at the page, not play with something else.

Hi Jen,
You question is one I have dealt with myself with my own son and is a tricky balance. I do believe that privileges can be lost due to behavior (and I have also been known to time out toys for long periods of time). I can completely relate to the challenges of behavior around bedtime and since reading seems to be the only thing to hold over their heads it seems logical that it could be removed if the bedtime woes continue. Losing a privilege does show the importance of good behavior and reading is a gift and privilege.

One suggestions I have might be to change the time of reading to earlier than bedtime to alleviate the struggle to maintain it while dealing with meltdowns. You could try to read right after dinner or in the early afternoon.

Also I highly encourage you to continue reading aloud to your son. Even for fluent, strong readers it is such an important thing as it encourages listening skills, promotes reading with expression and fluency, and shared reading makes it less of a task and more enjoyable. You could try reading every other page or each pick a book that you want to read aloud. This will model so much for your son!
I hope this helped some with your dilemma. I would love to hear others suggestions or opinions on this as well.

Hi Jen,

I agree with Sheri's astute comments and also wanted to share a minor tweak. We always read for bedtime too, but we of course have days when our daughter resists bedtime or is off the wall bonkers (usually if a friend has just left) or whatever.

In these instances, instead of just laying down the law, we engage her in the choice so she both feels some control/involvement and also responsibility for her actions. So, for example, saying, "You have a choice. If you continue to do ____ then we'll only have time for one really short story tonight. But if you can get ready for bed NOW we'll have enough time to do 2-3 books (or whatever amount seems reasonable in the moment and given the delays). It's up to you."

Because our daughter loves reading/cuddle time, this usually works. Ultimately, I think so much of parenting involves negotiating power struggles and we have found that what really works well is giving our daughter explicit choice -- it gives her some power/feeling of control, while still being reasonable with what we need to have happen in the moment.