Following PPLM Parent Education Program Manager Amy Cody’s post about engaging GLBTQ kids in conversations about sexual orientation and gender identity, we received a comment from reader Jen, asking about guidelines on having these conversations with straight kids. I am grateful to Amy for kindly providing follow up material on this topic:

From Amy Cody:

Children learn about sexual orientation at a young age from media, the playground, and friends. It’s far better for a parent and child to talk about issues like sexual orientation when the child is young and before she or he gets misinformation and is exposed to prejudice. Unfortunately, the words “gay,” “fag,” and “queer” remain three of the most common put-downs among youth from elementary school through adulthood. Talking with kids from a young age about sexual orientation will help them to deal with fears, prejudices, and the misinformation they will eventually be exposed to.

Heterosexual as well as homosexual youth can suffer the consequences of unchecked anti-homosexual bias and prejudice. William Pollack, author of Real Boys, has come to see anti-homosexual attitudes as compounding the inhibition heterosexual boys feel about expressing their feelings, treating each other warmly, and pursuing their creative lives for fear of being labeled a “fag.” Pollack points out that adolescents feel vulnerable to someday dropping out of favor, to being the one left out. When one group is shunned or stigmatized with impunity, every child’s sense of security is eroded.

If your child doesn’t bring up the topic of homosexuality, s/he might at least ask about a family that is different from yours - a family with one parent if she has two, or a family with two parents if she has one. Use this opportunity to teach about homosexuality by explaining about the different sorts of families people can have. For example:

“A gay man is a man who loves another man, just the way your mother and I love each other. A lesbian is a woman who loves another woman, in the same way. When two lesbian or gay grown-ups meets and fall in love, sometimes they start a family just like mommy and I did.” Ask your child if s/he understands, and expect that you will have to repeat the lesson over time before he can fully master it.

Always bear in mind that when you tell your child about homosexual people, you aren’t just delivering the facts. You are showing her how you feel about people and how you want your child to feel. Think of each little discussion as communicating how you would react if your child were to make fun of people because they are homosexual, or if your child were to someday tell you she is a lesbian herself. This is an opportunity to share your value that “in this family, we treat everyone with dignity and respect.” You’ll also be conveying your general beliefs about how to relate to people who are different from yourself. Even if she is heterosexual, the openness s/he sees in you will help your child turn to you with something she or he fears may disappoint you or diminish her in your eyes.

Recommended Websites and Books

What Does Gay Mean? How to Talk with Kids About Sexual Orientation and Prejudice by Lynn Ponton (author, child psychiatrist, and expert in teen issues). This online brochure offers resources, tips for talking across the developmental stages of preschool through teenagers, as well as general Q&A.

Everything You Never Wanted Your Kids to Know About Sex (But Were Afraid They'd Ask): The Secrets to Surviving Your Child's Sexual Development from Birth to the Teens by Justin Richardson & Mark Schuster

Sex and Sensibility: The Thinking Parent's Guide to Talking Sense About Sex by Deborah Roffman

Real Boys : Rescuing Our Sons from the Myths of Boyhood by William Pollack & Mary Pipher

Posted by Christine Koh on 31 Jul 2008 | Permalink | Comments (2) | Filed in Development & Behavior; Family Issues

Staying fit during pregnancy benefits mind, body, and delivery, but it can be challenging to motivate to waddle over to the gym. To make maternity workouts easier, today, Plain White Press contributes to our online birthday party by providing their Sane Fitness Preggers Kit to 5 winners. This cute kit includes 72 cards that demonstrate pregnancy-safe exercises that can be done at home (or at the gym, if you do in fact waddle on over). Simply check out the rules below and leave a comment on this giveaway to enter to win.

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Welcome to the 5th installment of Boston Mamas Rock! – where we’re giving a voice to fabulous local mamas, whether they be entrepreneurs, avid volunteers, stay at home moms, moms who have closet talents, authors, media professionals, politicians, professors, etc. Read on for today’s interview with Heather Kempskie, editor of P&K magazine and first time book author. Then go ahead and nominate yourself or a friend!

Heather Kempskie, Editor, P&K magazine & book author

Christine: Tell us a little bit about your background Heather. My understanding is that you started off right after college in journalism, then left for the world of PR, and now you’re back to journalism. What inspired the changes from journalism to PR and back?

Heather: I landed my first real-life reporting job straight out of college covering Holliston for The TAB Newspapers. I got my feet wet covering small town government but soon desired a corporate PR job and all the perks that came with it (like a decent salary!). I quickly learned that I was most happy when I was promoting a service I truly believed in and really enjoyed my roles as a spokesperson for the American Red Cross as well as North Shore Medical Center in Salem. Bottom line, I was always jealous of the reporters I worked with. I wanted to be the one writing the stories, not pitching them. I was lucky to be hired as the editor of P&K. Nearly 13 years after beginning my career, I’m back in the same newspaper office I started in (but with a way cooler title!)

Christine: Editorships often times can be strictly managerial but you do a lot of writing at P&K (and elsewhere, which we’ll get to in a minute). Do you have any tips on how you effectively compartmentalize your different roles?

Heather: Writing is my passion. You couldn’t keep me away from it if you tried. I also love meeting new people and conveying their story, challenges and triumphs through the printed word. It helps me stay connected to the communities and people I serve. As editor, I certainly “manage” the process by assigning stories and editing copy but I also work closely with my freelancers – we talk about concepts, explore the angles and hopefully arrive with an end product that makes our readers feel empowered and inspired. To me the two roles of editor and writer blend naturally.

Christine: And do you feel like your parenting experience has informed the way you manage your staff at P&K? What are your favorite and least favorite parts of the job?

Heather: Becoming a parent prepares you for just about anything in life. I thought I could multi-task before but now I’ve entered turbo-mode. I guess the most important skill is the ability to work well with other parents – my “staff” is actually comprised of freelancers – moms and dads who have a passion for parenting topics and a background in communications. There is a profound (yet unspoken) understanding of our daily demands. I laugh whenever any one of them call and actually apologize because their child is making noise in the background. If I don’t get that, nobody will!

My favorite part? I’m not lying when I say I love just about everything! I get the biggest thrill when I’m on deadline and we start putting together the pages of the publication. It’s incredible to see the combined work of freelancers, myself, the design and art departments come together in a product that will be available to hundreds of families throughout greater Boston.

Least favorite? Man, that’s a tough one. I’d say that some mornings are tougher than others when it comes to heading to work for the day and saying goodbye to my children. I’m lucky, though, because my job comes with a lot of flexibility. The other night I attended the opening reception for the BIG BUGS event at Garden in the Woods in Framingham, and like most events relevant to P&K, it was for the whole family. I was working but I got to enjoy the night with my kids too!

Christine: You have two adorable kids -- where were you at professionally when your children arrived? I’m always interested in hearing how people decide on length of maternity leave, balancing child care when returning to work, etc. Can you tell us about your working mom journey?

Heather: When my son was born five years ago, I had almost every intention of returning to work but after a difficulty recovery - including surgery - I decided to stay at home with my son and loved every minute of it. I took on some freelancing work including writing for P&K magazine. Two years later, my daughter joined the family. I was eager to continue freelancing but a few of the jobs I had fell through. I remember sitting in our basement when a message arrived in my inbox. The editor of P&K was leaving. I applied for the job that day! I wasn’t quite ready to be back in an office 40 hours a week so I thankfully was able to negotiate flexible hours. I always tell other moms re-entering the workforce to be creative and resourceful. Women have an innate ability to make schedules work. I’m hoping that we continue to see more employers supporting working moms to find that work/life balance.

Christine: You have an identical twin with whom you co-authored a new book, The Siblings' Busy Book. First, congrats on publishing your first book! How was it working with your sister on this project?

Heather: Lisa and I have always had an uncanny ability to balance each other off. Where she is relaxed, I’m a bit neurotic. Where she is creative, I’m practical. Once we had the idea for this book, we easily took on the tasks that suited our different skills and passions. Lisa, who has a Masters in Creative Education, began writing activities and I started putting together our book proposal and marketing plan. We had plenty of late night sessions editing each activity. We laughed a lot. Never fought. And always recognized how fortunate we were that some publisher had given us a shot at a lifelong dream.

Christine: I’m really impressed by the way your book takes each of 200 activity ideas and includes variations for baby, toddler, preschooler, and school age kids to illustrate how siblings can engage in the same themed activities in different ways. This must have been a huge amount of work! How long did it take for you and your sister to put these ideas to paper? And to your knowledge, is this the first book of its kind on the market?

Heather: From concept to publication, it was a three-year journey. We took advantage of naptimes and weekends when our husbands were around to watch the kids. Lisa and I live next door to each other so we saved time on travel! Originally our idea was to create an activity book for babies and toddler siblings. Meadowbrook Press asked us to expand it to include preschoolers and school-age children. We relied on Lisa’s experience as a teacher, our fellow parents and even our own kids for ideas. We also held several sibling workshops with local parents and their children so that we could test our activities. The activities in the book are all kid-approved! We’ve always joked that we really wrote 600 activities because we had to write instructions for four different age groups for each activity! And yes, we’re proud of the fact that this is the first book of its kind.

L to R: Lisa, Jake (in lap), Noah, Brooke, Heather & Kyle (in lap)

Christine: You have dedicated enormous effort to the topic of siblings, are a parent of two kids two years apart, and are an identical twin. I’m curious about where you stand on the having kids close vs. having them far apart debate.

Heather: Listen, I’m a firm believer in realizing that in many cases you don’t get a say of how far your children will be born apart. But if we could all plan it to our liking, I would say that little of sibling relationships has to do with how close or far apart in age they are. It depends on your children’s personalities and your parenting style. My favorite book is Siblings Without Rivalry by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish. In it, they conclude that parents can set the stage for sibling harmony simply on how they react to sibling behavior and squabbles. In the first 10 pages, they give practical tips you can apply right away in your own family. As close as Lisa and I are, we definitely went through stages of, well let’s say, discord. It’s natural. Siblings are the longest relationship anyone of us will ever have. Longer than our parents and longer than our spouse. We learn how to compromise, share, negotiate and express ourselves. Our book is based on the concept that siblings who play together and create happy memories build bonds that last a lifetime.

Christine: I understand that some of your favorite pastimes are reading and hiking. What’s your favorite book pick this summer, and do you have any favorite family-friendly local hiking spots to recommend?

Heather: During a recent vacation to the Cape, I picked up a book from the resort library Where Are You Now? by Mary Higgins Clark. It’s an interesting family mystery that doesn’t require too much thought. In my opinion, it’s the perfect summer pick.

My husband I love being outdoors. Before kids, you’d find us hiking or biking every weekend. The kids have warmed up to this ritual but last year we found the ticket to get the kids excited about the experience. Letterboxing! It’s a popular family activity where participants search for hidden stamps and ink pads contained in small weatherproof plastic boxes within public places such as a park or hiking trail. You go to a Web site like www.letterboxing.org to get clues on where to search for Letterboxes in your area (there are more than 30,000 of these hidden nationwide). You can track which ones you’ve found and some even contain small prizes. My kids are more than motivated if there’s a prize at the end of the hike.

Christine: It’s also my understanding that you appeared in a McDonald’s commercial when you were a kid. How did that come about? Did they give you free Happy Meals after the shoot?

Heather: My dad worked on the corporate side of McDonald’s when we were kids. We were very cool kids because of that. When we were younger, he’d bring home buckets of happy meal toys. When we were in college, we’d always have tons of gift cards from there and treat our college buddies to a Big Mac or whatever. I remember we got a crisp dollar bill for our efforts but unfortunately, no movie deal offers!

Christine: And finally, what’s your favorite thing about being a Boston mama?

Heather: Oh, my gosh, what is there not to love? We have the best of all possible worlds. A gorgeous city full of classic family excursions such as the Swan Boats or the Children’s Museum plus some more current hip stuff like Baby Loves Disco (swank Boston night clubs opening during the day for toddlers to dance and parents to socialize) and the Institute of Contemporary Art. Then we’ve got the greater Boston area with each town brimming full of their own parks, playgrounds and kid-friendly seasonal activities. I love bringing my kids to the same places I enjoyed with my family, such as Capron Park Zoo or the Aquarium. As far as BostonMamas.com – it’s hip and fun and reminds us women that we’re always cool at heart! Thanks for all you do!

For more from Heather & Lisa, visit their site.

Know a fabulous local mama? Nominate yourself or someone else to be featured!

Posted by Christine Koh on 30 Jul 2008 | Permalink | Comments (3) | Filed in Boston Mamas Rock!; Local

In these days of excessive paper junk mail and bills, few things delight like real mail, whether it be a penned note or a party invitation. And today, Tiny Prints contributes to our online birthday party with a $100 gift certificate towards a stylish batch of personalized paper goods, such as summer party invitations, thank you cards, or moving announcements. Simply check out the rules below and leave a comment on this giveaway to enter to win.

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Luxurious swaddle blankets are a treasure; they’re so pretty that they’ll likely be among the keepsake items you can’t bear to part with when baby outgrows swaddling, and they provide the comfort and cuddle that will help encourage precious hours of sleep. And today, Alex Casey Baby contributes to our online birthday party with their lightweight yet snuggly Star Swaddler blanket. Simply check out the rules below and leave a comment on this giveaway to enter to win.

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I feel blessed to know many artistic souls, and last week I had the fabulous opportunity to work with Kristin Chalmers on professional headshots. Kristin is a creative tour de force via her photography business, her role as the host, coordinator, and producer of Baby Loves Disco Boston, and, given her passion for helping new moms, I recently convinced her that she has time to write for this site (debut forthcoming). But let me get back to her photography prowess, because she rocked.

As a mother of two, these days Kristin is particularly attuned to photographing children and families; everything from pregnancy photos to newborns to high school portraits that actually look cool. She also shoots weddings, and for business or other personal needs (such as the headshots I needed), and in the past has shot everything from rappers to restaurants.

I’m typically completely comfortable in front of a camera, but I have to admit that given the fact that lately I’ve been feeling rather tired in face and body, I started to fret a little as I readied myself for the shoot. I stared at my skin (regretting every single minute I used to suntan in high school and college), and wondered whether I should have attempted a home teeth-whitening kit the night before.

But luckily, Kristin’s demeanor and talent quickly helped me forget those concerns. She’s fun, lighthearted yet professional, never condescending, and - particularly good for families - she shoots up a storm while working quickly, chatting to keep the subject(s) engaged and at ease between shots, and offering positioning corrections in a relaxed way. She also stopped periodically to show me shots on her camera, as well as edits to improve various shots. The results were so fabulous and the shoot so fun, I could have had her snap away all day.

We shot in a variety of ways - out at a park, in a café, with and without glasses, and while I haven’t seen the whole series, I’m already having trouble deciding between the preliminary favorites she has sent. But truly, it’s an embarrassment of riches to have to decide between shots where she has transformed a tired mama into one who looks alternately hot, young, hip, stylish, fully rested, etc.

Kristin shoots on location digitally (although she’ll shoot with film for traditionalists) – and she uses a local photography lab so it’s easy to get prints without dealing with exorbitant shipping costs. Definitely contact Kristin the next time you or your family want a photo pro who will put you at ease and make you look fabulous.

Posted by Christine Koh on 28 Jul 2008 | Permalink | Comments (1) | Filed in Local; Retail

You can never have enough clutter taming tools in the toy room, and today, locally based Bambini Design contributes to our online birthday party with Tatutina’s jungle animal bookends and pegboard set. Crafted in the Boston area, these colorful, whimsical pieces will inspire organization by keeping books and coats off the floor and in their place. Simply check out the rules below and leave a comment on this giveaway to enter to win.

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And now for our weekly dose of web highlights from some of our stylish blog partners:

Clever Parents reports on their Operation Shower online book fair in partnership with Usborne Books; this program will benefit moms-to-be whose husbands are deployed. Car & Caboodle highlights 10 reasons why all moms need an iPhone. Coochicoos presents 5 fresh baby photo announcements. And you could win a $100 BusyMommi.com shopping spree at MomFinds, and a Skip Hop splash bottle drying rack at One Chic Mama.

Posted by Christine Koh on 25 Jul 2008 | Permalink | Comments (0) | Filed in Gear; Gifts & Paper; Home

For a cultured alternative to the typical “A is for Apple” learning model, check out Alpha Buddies. Using cultural, historical, and athletic references as inspiration, these eco-friendly tees are screen printed using water based inks. Today, Alpha Buddies contributes to our online birthday party by providing two winners each with a tee of their choice. Simply check out the rules below and leave a comment on this product line to enter to win.

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If your kid needs a little inspiration to stay engaged at the dinner table, consider the personalized plates at My Clean Plate Club. Including a colorful collection of dishwasher safe designs for kids and monogram loving grown ups, today, My Clean Plate Club contributes to our online birthday party with a set of two of their 10" personalized melamine plates. Simply check out the rules below and leave a comment on this product to enter to win.

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Today, Sara Cabot of Little Lettice provides zucchini inspired recipes for the whole family:

Everywhere you look at the farmer’s markets in July you see different forms of zucchini squash in different shapes and sizes. While zucchini squash is extremely palatable for babies, older kids can find it a bit boring. I am convinced that one of the reasons kids don’t like green veggies is that they are bored of the way they are cooked or presented. With a bit of variation, these sweet and tender greens can be delicious to young children.

Here are a couple of ways we cook zucchini at home to make it a bit more interesting. Don’t worry about peeling the zucchini; the skin is soft and yummy and provides most of the interest anyway.

FOR BABIES

You can give zucchini to babies at an early age (around 7 months) because it is such a palatable veggie.

My First Zucchini

One of the busiest acts on the Boston family music scene is Ben Rudnick & Friends, a five-piece ensemble whose acoustic tunes suit the whole family and cross folk, bluegrass, calypso, and rock genres. Today, Ben Rudnick & Friends contribute to our online birthday party by offering 5 winners a copy of their acclaimed Grace’s Bell CD. Simply check out the rules after the jump and leave a comment on this giveaway to enter to win.

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If you’re ready to purge, replace, or upgrade your stroller to accommodate more than one kiddo, visit Magic Beans this Thursday (July 24) between 10am to 8pm for The Great Stroller Exchange. Simply bring in your gently used stroller – which will be donated to a family in need via Cradles to Crayons – and you’ll receive 10% off a new stroller from Magic Beans.

The event is running at all three Magic Beans locations (Brookline, Hingham, Wellesley) and drop off and purchase must occur on the 24th. Click here for further details about the event, including stroller condition requirements.

Posted by Christine Koh on 22 Jul 2008 | Permalink | Comments (1) | Filed in Local; Outreach

The right bling can instantly upgrade your outfit (and attitude!), and if you love funky jewelry finds, check out Twisted Silver. Offering an impressive collection of unique twists on classics, today Twisted Silver contributes to our online birthday party with their flowery, asymmetrical Diva Necklace. Simply check out the rules after the jump and leave a comment on this product line to enter to win.

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We love local mamapreneurs, and thus were thrilled to receive this tip from Aimee of Arlington: “I just checked out the new Twinkle Star baby boutique in Ball Square, Somerville. It’s a cute shop and great play space for kids. I also met with Salina of Diaper Lab (she rents space at Twinkle Star) for cloth diaper ideas for my new little guy. She has a supply and sample of every cloth diaper available - what a great resource!”

Click here for a coupon for $5 off purchases of $75+ at Twinkle Star Boutique.

Twinkle Star Boutique & Diaper Lab, 703 Broadway, Somerville; Tel: 617-776-2340

Posted by Christine Koh on 21 Jul 2008 | Permalink | Comments (1) | Filed in Diapers & Potty; Local; Retail

Life is meant to be lived joyfully every day, and for parents looking for ways to translate this basic – but sometimes lost – principle to their children, there’s Focus Friends, an independent collection of books and artwork designed to translate messages of beauty, joy, appreciation, wisdom, and inspiration. Today, Focus Friends contributes to our online birthday party with their Joy Is The Greatest Gift storybook + 11” x 18” framed Seeing Beauty print. Simply check out the rules after the jump and leave a comment on this product line to enter to win.

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And now for our weekly dose of web highlights from some of our stylish blog partners:

Moms’ Buzz provides a primer on commonly used acronyms that kids use while text messaging and chatting. Classy Mommy features a video of Katie Couric reporting on the powerful mommy blogger revolution. And visit MomFinds to enter to win a $200 shopping spree at The Fine Art of Family.

Posted by Christine Koh on 18 Jul 2008 | Permalink | Comments (0) | Filed in Family Issues; Fashion; For Mamas & Mamas-to-be

Today, April reviews a simple and stylish gifting solution in Dani Note’s personalized stickers. Read on for her review, as well as to learn how to win a set of personalized note cards with matching gift stickers from Dani Notes!

“I really love cards but I never remember them. Ever. I can juggle an amazing array of activities and projects, but this one always stumps me. We are those people who have a blast shopping for a present, make it a family affair to wrap it, and then have to scrawl on it with a Sharpie once we get where we’re going. I decided not to stress about it and let it go. Cards always fall off, anyway, right? Stickers are much, much better.

We picked out simple bird motif stickers printed with our daughter’s name from Dani Notes. We’ve stuck them onto presents and packages (and even to seal up a brown-bag lunch). Our daughter has an accent in her name, and sometimes that gets translated into an apostrophe or is left out entirely, but Dani Notes got it perfectly right. I expected the sticker to be slightly glossy, but the paper is matte, making it easy to write on with a pencil, a ballpoint pen, or a crayon. That’s in case we want to add a little message to the already adorable bird.

Now, even though we might forget the card - which we will, without fail - the recipient isn’t left in that awkward position of wondering who to thank or who the gift is from. You also don’t have to be on hand to holler out, “Oh, that one’s from us!” when they pick up your skillfully wrapped cadeau. Also, we save them the pretense of carefully opening and reading each card before tearing into the wrapped present. That seems too much to ask of young kids - or grandparents.

With a wide array of images, like boats, alligators, and birds, most kids’ styles are covered. I’m thinking of going back and getting some of the more grown-up styles with the family name.

Oh, and for those of you who can remember cards, check out the note and enclosure cards. Like the stickers, they come in kid, monogram, and grown-up styles.”

Now, want to win a set of note cards with matching gift stickers from Dani Notes*? Here’s how:

The days are longer; the bedtimes are later. And come tomorrow, you and the kids can wile away the summer hours in green fashion at ArtBeat 08 in Davis Square. Beginning tomorrow at 6pm, and running through Saturday, this green festival will feature live performances, eco-conscious exhibits, craft vendors, food, and art/green activities.

Posted by Christine Koh on 17 Jul 2008 | Permalink | Comments (0) | Filed in Eco Living; Fun Outdoors; Local

The saying goes that it takes more muscles to frown than smile, and if your face needs frown therapy, you’re in luck. Today, Frownies contributes to our online birthday party by offering 3 winners a box of their natural wrinkle reducing facial pads. Beloved for over a century, Frownies hold skin smooth and flat overnight, allowing skin cells to reposition and facial muscles to retrain into a relaxed state. Simply check out the rules after the jump and leave a comment on this product to enter to win.

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Today, Carole Arsenault of Newborn Nurses offers tips to stay cool during summer pregnancy:

During pregnancy a woman’s body temperature increases, making her much more intolerant of the hot summer weather. And it doesn’t have to be a 90-degree heat wave for a pregnant woman to become uncomfortable.

Particularly during the hot weather – when you lose a lot of fluid while perspiring - expecting moms should be careful about dehydration. Thirst is a basic, early sign of dehydration, while later signs include dizziness, lightheadedness, and possible uterine cramping. Note that dehydration decreases blood volume, which in turn could increase the concentration of oxytocin in the body; this increase can cause uterine cramping.

It’s also important to note that the edema (extra fluid) in your body during pregnancy does not keep you and your baby hydrated. Edema, or swelling, moves fluid out of the cells to the surrounding tissue, where it is needed. This is what causes the swollen, puffy look of pregnancy. Drinking extra fluids will help hydrate cells and flush out this extra fluid.

Here are some ways to beat the heat and stay cool during pregnancy:

Sometimes it’s the little things that make baby care easier, and Munchkin is a brand that offers parents everything from toys to feeding, hygiene, and travel solutions at affordable prices. Today, Munchkin contributes to our online birthday party with an assorted gift set including their BPA-free Multi Plates, road trip friendly Safety SunBlock Shades 2-pack, and tubby time Super Safety Bath Ducky and Bath Squirters. Simply check out the rules after the jump and leave a comment on this product line to enter to win.

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Welcome to the 4th installment of Boston Mamas Rock! – where we’re giving a voice to fabulous local mamas, whether they be entrepreneurs, avid volunteers, stay at home moms, moms who have closet talents, authors, media professionals, politicians, professors, etc. Read on for today’s interview with Jennifer Crowley, the inspirational mother behind Cian’s Cause, which she founded shortly after losing her son Cian to Neuroblastoma. Then consider nominating yourself or a friend.

Jennifer Crowley, Founder, Cian’s Cause

Christine: Jennifer, before we get started, please accept my heartfelt condolences on the loss of your son Cian. And thank you for taking the time to share your story with our readers.

Jennifer: You are quite welcome – and thank you for the opportunity to talk about Cian and the disease that took him from us.

Christine: Your son was diagnosed with Neuroblastoma when he was only 5 months old. Can you describe this form of cancer – its origin and prognosis - in a nutshell?

Jennifer: Neuroblastoma is the most common solid tumor cancer in infants and children. The disease typically originates in the abdomen, either in the adrenal glands (located just above the kidney in back of the upper abdomen) or around the spinal cord. There are approximately 650 cases of Neuroblastoma diagnosed in the United States each year, with two-years being the average age of diagnosis. The causes of Neuroblastoma are not completely known; however, less than two percent of all cases are thought to be hereditary.

Neuroblastoma is commonly fatal; the long-term survival rate for children with high-risk Neuroblastoma, which accounts for most cases, is less than 40 percent.

Christine: Reading the story of your son’s symptoms (black eye, vomiting, lethargy) cropping up out of nowhere gave me chills. As you received various misdiagnoses (ear infection, hand, foot, and mouth disease) what was going through your mind as possible alternative explanations? And how on earth did you stay calm in the face of these mysterious symptoms?

Jennifer: Cian was our first-born and his first five months of life were incredibly healthy ones. Until the week he fell ill, he had been a happy, thriving baby. Given that so many different providers diagnosed him with benign conditions, it never crossed our mind to be overly anxious. We were first time parents - we were naïve. We trusted the medical professionals we were seeking help from and expected whatever was wrong with our baby would be resolved. You tell yourself, we live in Boston and have access to the best minds that medicine has to offer – you don’t really believe that a shiny new baby could have a condition that is essentially terminal. We had plane tickets to Ireland to spend time with my husband’s family the week Cian got sick – I knew we’d have to postpone, but I never thought for a minute we wouldn’t be going. Ignorance is bliss…

Christine: When you finally were sent to Children’s Hospital in Boston for Cian’s neurosurgery, unbeknownst to you, the Department of Social Services was en route to meet you to investigate child abuse concerns. I can only imagine the anger and hurt you must have experienced; how did you cope with and recover from these allegations?

Jennifer: I honestly have not recovered from the allegation – veiled as it was. To sit in an ambulance (we were being transported from a community hospital to Children’s – the docs at the community hospital levied the abuse suspicion) in rush hour traffic thinking, could this be? Had I hired someone [our nanny] who was responsible for potential brain damage in my first and only child? Words can’t describe what that felt like. We were catatonic. And then to get to Children’s and not exactly be welcomed with open arms – to be questioned by a social worker – to sit in near silence for hours on end while asking myself – will Cian be taken away from us? Will the police be called? When I reflect over the whole experience – even with Cian dying – the real trauma lies in the diagnosis process. We have since received apologies from the providers involved in the initial misdiagnosis and understand Cian’s case was subsequently presented to all ER docs at Children’s to help educate about the disease – those actions help to some degree – but a lot of harm was done that day, particularly in the community hospital. To illustrate - at Cian’s autopsy meeting, I actually asked if there were signs of abuse. It was still in my head. We now have another son who is almost one and I have not been able to send him to daycare. Suffice it to say, I have a lot more healing to do and certainly feel very untrusting of doctors these days, with the exception of our new pediatrician who is simply wonderful and exceptionally compassionate.

Christine: And similarly, how have you coped with/recovered from the fact that 6 clinicians didn’t catch Cian’s mysterious “raccoon eye” symptom [shown in the fading stages in photo above] - a hallmark sign of Neuroblastoma?

Jennifer: Not exactly over that either… which is why I wanted to found a group to spread awareness. I think back to my first pregnancy, with Cian, and how I poured over every book and magazine available to me. I read articles on SIDS, shaken baby syndrome, first aid, etc… and think if I had only read one thing about raccoon eye, saw a picture of it… I would like to think I would have recalled the article and urged the doctors to rule out the disease or take a closer look at his eye, which no one seemed very interested in until a misinterpretation of a head CT scan (tumor as trauma) and chest x-ray (bone marrow disease as healing fractures) led doctors down one path, even though his irregular blood test results and enlarged liver were not explainable under the abuse diagnosis.

So many times we were told how doctors are trained that, “when you hear hoof beats, think horses not zebras.” Talk about cold comfort. I realize that a pediatrician may go his or her entire clinical life and not see one single case of Neuroblastoma, but how a clinician can mistake a child who is ICU-bound as one that has a mere ear infection is simply beyond me. What I have come to learn is that the eyes are like a window to the brain – so many brain-related ailments in children manifest themselves through the eyes – discoloration, drooping, crossing, and so on.

Christine: You created Cian’s Cause to raise awareness about the signs and symptoms of Neuroblastoma. When did you start the organization? What are the primary ways people can help this organization? And how do you raise awareness both at the local and professional levels?

Jennifer: I created Cian’s Cause only months after losing Cian. I had all this anger and energy and no other way to channel it. I felt as if I lost my standing, my identity, as a mother. I have a background in healthcare and PR so it felt natural to put my skills to good use and try to raise awareness amongst new parents that the disease is out there and what the symptoms are. Basically I don’t want anyone else to go through what we did – which, once I shared it with other Neuroblastoma families, I learned wasn’t all that unusual.

The primary way people can support Cian’s Cause are to tell Cian’s story to new parents, to doctors - to educate about the disease. I also urge new moms not to be afraid to ask family doctors or pediatricians what they know about it or what their experience is with rarer childhood afflictions. At this point I haven’t started the professional outreach to doctors yet, but do intend to with a little funding.

Christine: We first learned about you from one of your friends, whose family has raised money in honor of your son via participating in Alex's Lemonade Stand Lemonade Days. Is Cian’s Cause connected to Alex's Lemonade Stand (an organization started by a girl who suffered from Neuroblastoma) in a formal way?

Jennifer: No, the two groups are not formally connected, though in sort of a spiritual sense, I do feel connected to Alex’s parents given that she also died from Neuroblastoma. They have raised millions for pediatric cancer research – it’s really a tremendous organization. For people who want to support research efforts aimed at kids with cancer – which are drastically under-funded by the government and largely ignored by drug companies given the relatively small market – Alex’s is a great group since they are 100 percent focused on childhood cancers, even those beyond Neuroblastoma. Groups like the American Cancer Society and other well-known (and local) cancer charities tend to direct only miniscule amounts of funding towards pediatric cancer – their defense is that the learnings from adult cancer research will impact new treatments for childhood forms – and this is simply not true given the vast differences in the genesis’ of cancers depending on age and cell biology.

Christine: Your friend/nominator said that just after your son died, you said that having Cian was the best thing that ever happened to you and your husband. And that you wanted Cian's friends to remember that life is meant to be lived. Your strength is so admirable. How do you maintain such a positive perspective? And how do you shore yourself up on the inevitable hard days?

Jennifer: A lot of 2007 seems like a dream. It’s hard to describe how a bereaved parent picks him or herself up everyday and functions as part of society. I think for my husband and myself, there was a lot of denial involved, some therapy, and the support of friends. Whatever positive energy I put forth, it’s all from Cian. He’s always with me. I spent every single day of his life with him – he was a very special child and I can’t help but think he was ours for a reason. I had never spent time in a children’s hospital before his diagnosis and then we basically moved in to one of the most renowned ones for several weeks. Talk about a ridiculously eye-opening experience. I never once asked myself, ‘why me’ or ‘why him’ because in that environment, you are surrounded by families facing struggles. The pain you see on faces in the cafeteria or in the elevator – the afflictions you see that you never knew existed – it really knocks you.

I have to say, a large part of our healing came from the fact that we were lucky enough to get pregnant again in early 2008 and welcomed another son, Padraig [shown above], in September 2007. He is how we get through the hard days. There are no words to describe how blessed we are to have him. When I think of him turning one in September, it feels like a miracle. He gave us the ability to feel joy again. He gave us our identity back.

Christine: Incredibly stressful events such as these typically strain other relationships. How do you and your husband John stay connected and positive about life after Cian?

Jennifer: The experience of Cian’s diagnosis, the demands of his treatment, and his subsequent death really bonded John and I. We experienced so many private moments with Cian – then when he was gone, it really was just the two of us. Not to make light of losing a child, but once the funeral is over, even your closest friends and loved ones often have no clue what to say to you (and I know, there isn’t exactly a manual written on the topic) so a lot of the time we just felt like, well, it’s really, really just the two of us now. Once I got pregnant, it gave us something else to focus on – I feel like the pregnancy really was a gift from above. And as I mentioned earlier, having another little boy to love and learn from is what keeps us positive and (mostly) functioning.

Christine: March and October (the months when your son was born, then succumbed to Neuroblastoma) must be so difficult – have you found ways to commemorate Cian’s life at these times that bring some sort of peace?

Jennifer: We actually haven’t found ways to commemorate his life – not just yet anyways. One of the really hard things about losing a baby is that there is so much unknown – we don’t know what his favorite game was or his favorite animal – so there is very little for us to draw on to celebrate him. I think we just aim to celebrate him everyday. In time Padraig will become a part of how we commemorate Cian’s life – singing happy birthday to him, sending him balloons – it is very important to us that Padraig ‘know’ his older brother. I can say the spring air – the way it feels and smells – will always remind me of Cian, what it was like to have him at home as a newborn. And the fall, well, it’s a tough time – with the leaves turning, the sun setting earlier – anyways, it’s just very symbolic of our loss.

Christine: Thank you so much for taking the time to share your thoughts. Is there anything further you would like our readers to know about Neuroblastoma or Cian’s Cause?

Jennifer: Nothing comes to mind. But I’d like to say that if anyone, after reading this piece or visiting our website, has any feedback or thoughts on channels to promote the group or Neuroblastoma awareness, I’m all ears!

Know an inspiring local mama? Nominate yourself or someone else to be featured.

Posted by Christine Koh on 15 Jul 2008 | Permalink | Comments (2) | Filed in Boston Mamas Rock!; Local

Kids move fast, so if you want to catch precious fleeting moments (and perhaps even be in a photo for once), call a pro equipped with both an eye for composition and super fast shutter speed. Lucky for local mamas, today Mariah M Photography contributes to our online birthday party with an on-location portrait session + $100 print credit (value = $300!). This complimentary session can take place at your home or other favorite spot, provided it’s within a 20-mile radius of Newburyport (otherwise Mariah serves New England & beyond). Simply check out the rules after the jump and leave a comment on this giveaway to enter to win.

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Given that kids dig shapes and animals, and modern parents are hungry for stylish simplicity, the designs at Colette Kids give new meaning to the term “family friendly.” With an understated yet playful less is more approach, this unisex collection of modern, geometric critters is individually hand silk screened onto richly colored 100% cotton tees or 100% organic cotton onesies. Laurel’s favorite is Charlotte; sweet, definitively piggy, yet ultra cool because she’s not trying too hard.

Exclusive deal: Use code boston10 for a 10% discount at Colette Kids (expires 7/31/08).

Posted by Christine Koh on 15 Jul 2008 | Permalink | Comments (0) | Filed in Eco Living; Fashion; For Little Ones

Today, Sharon offers a lead for a local bereavement support organization for children, teens, and their families:

“During the past couple of months, I’ve been reminded repeatedly about how kids grow and learn about the world around them. And in particular, how challenging it can be to figure out how to communicate with kids about difficult situations, such as the loss of a loved one.

Adults have many ways - both healthy and unhealthy - of coping with loss. Without help processing their feelings, children may express grief through behaviors such as acting out, anger, isolation, or aggression. Through a co-worker, I recently learned about The Children’s Room, a local center that offers bereavement support for children, teens, and their families. I was struck by my co-worker’s description of helping kids express their feelings through art, music, and sports, as well as the fact that The Children’s Room fosters support and solidarity through group settings, allowing kids to interact around these issues with kids their own age.

Admittedly, when I first heard that one of my nieces (who lives in another state) was attending a similar bereavement program to cope with the losses of her twin sister and grandfather, I initially cringed at the idea. But I quickly realized that this reaction was rooted in the taboo associated with being open about discussing difficult, painful issues with children. But these discussions – and finding ways to work through grief – are particularly important, given how emotionally confusing times like these can be for children.

The Children's Room operates out of Arlington and Framingham and serves kids between the ages of 3 to 18. The service is free, and relies on donations from families and foundations.”

Posted by Christine Koh on 14 Jul 2008 | Permalink | Comments (0) | Filed in Local; Outreach

In these sticky, sweaty days of summer, you can never have enough tees for your tot. And for those who dig a dose of cheeky on baby’s tee, check out Zoe & Sprout. Today, Zoe & Sprout contributes to our online birthday party with a $45 gift certificate to their online shop. Among their collection of onesies and tees for babies and toddlers, we recommend opting for their new organics line, which includes eco-oriented designs (such as “My Tricycle is a Hybrid”) on 100% organic cotton. Simply check out the rules after the jump and leave a comment on this product line to enter to win.

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And now for our weekly dose of web highlights from some of our stylish blog partners:

Coochicoos features the unusual charm and beauty of a room created from a drainpipe. Car & Caboodle presents part 3 of their series on the love/hate relationship moms have with the minivan. Moms’ Buzz offers tips on the proper fit for flats vs. heels. Classy Mommy documents her adventure to meet Kyra Sedgwick of The Closer. And you could win a Dante Beatrix DB Haul Tote at MomFinds, and a Nine-Month pregnancy keepsake necklace at One Chic Mama.

Posted by Christine Koh on 11 Jul 2008 | Permalink | Comments (0) | Filed in Family Issues; Fashion; For Mamas & Mamas-to-be

Thinking about finances can be intimidating, but having tips and information laid out in simple, tangible terms can help enormously. Today, the producers of My Money Matters contribute to our online birthday party by providing 5 winners with a copy of the My Money Matters kit. Written by financial advisor Galia Gichon, this stylish kit offers constructive tips to help you get financially organized, get out of debt, and save for retirement. Simply check out the rules after the jump and leave a comment on this product to enter to win.

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Earlier this year, lice ran rampant through Laurel’s preschool class, and while we were spared, some of our good friends were not. As first timers, they faced stress, disgust, copious loads of laundry, and just not really knowing what to look for on their kids’ heads. If you find yourself in a similar situation, check out NitWits. This Cambridge based nitpicking service uses only organic and all natural products during lice checks and nit removal. They also provide advice for at-home treatment and prevention.

Got nits? The folks at NitWits kindly are offering a 10% discount off your visit when you mention Boston Mamas on booking.

Image credit: FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Posted by Christine Koh on 10 Jul 2008 | Permalink | Comments (0) | Filed in Domestics; Local

We are huge fans of Barefoot Books, what with its mom roots and sprouts (the business was founded by moms and supports mom resellers), and its amazing line of beautifully illustrated, culturally aware products. Today, South Shore based Barefoot reseller Alpha Sanford contributes to our online birthday party with a gift set of books, including Swing High, Swing Low, Never Say Boo To A Goose! and There's a Billy Goat In The Garden. Simply check out the rules after the jump and leave a comment on this book collection to enter to win.

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Today, Suz reports on a local spot for therapeutic horse riding:

“When Evan was born with Down syndrome, I did not appreciate the amazing experiences his therapies would bring to our family. Among them is the pleasure we have experienced in taking him to Greenlock Therapeutic Riding Center in Rehoboth for hippotherapy.

Hippotherapy allows Evan to ride horses and work on his core strength, muscle tone, and coordination in efforts to develop his physical ability to walk. (It is a lot of hard work to ride a horse!) The added bonus is that with the wonderful staff of physical therapists and volunteers, plus the beautiful horses, Evan gets to have a whole lot of fun too. Greenlock is nestled amidst a breathtaking setting, and lessons go on rain or shine.

Parents can check with their Early Intervention Center or The Genesis Fund for assistance with the cost associated with hippotherapy at Greenlock. We are glad we have found this experience, and that the horses are such great therapeutic partners.”

Posted by Christine Koh on 9 Jul 2008 | Permalink | Comments (2) | Filed in Beauty, Fitness & Wellness; Local

Amidst the many ups and downs associated with pregnancy and postpartum, one constant is that your body weathers a major storm, complete with stretching, discoloration, and a variety of discomforts. Luckily for moms looking for cover and relief, there’s Bella B Natural Bodycare. Rich, creamy, and gentle in texture and smell, this paraben-free skin care line offers treatment for woes of the face (pregnancy mask, dark circles), breasts (nursing discomfort), belly (stretch marks, itching), and body (firming, revitalizing).

Want to win a Bella B Natural Bodycare prenatal or postnatal gift pack*? Here’s how:

After 3 years of resisting periodic friendly nudges from friends and family (primarily because I couldn't bear the idea of tracking yet another username and password), I finally joined Facebook. If you’re already part of the (addictive) FB craze, please consider visiting the Boston Mamas page and becoming a fan. The page imports this blog’s content so you can get your friend and fan fixes all in one place.

Posted by Christine Koh on 8 Jul 2008 | Permalink | Comments (0) | Filed in Web (Admin)

These days, one of Laurel’s favorite playground games is "T-Rex" (as in, stomping, growling, and prowling like a T-Rex), so clearly we need to check out the acclaimed Walking With Dinosaurs extravaganza that hits Boston's TD Banknorth Garden July 16 – 20. Fabulous for the whole family, the production features life-size, surprisingly nimble dinosaurs that will give new meaning to your kid’s favorite dinosaur books, puzzles, and toys.

Want to win a 4-pack of tickets to Boston's Walking With Dinosaurs show? Here’s how:

There’s no denying the abundance that is summer’s fresh fruit, but if you’re looking to tote a healthy, drip-free fruit snack, FruitaBü is a fine option for kids and grownups alike. Today, FruitaBü contributes to our online birthday party with a Sploooshers & Twirls Gift Pack, including 3 boxes each of their organic unwrap and unroll Fruit Twirls and their squeeze tube Sploooshers. Simply check out the rules after the jump and leave a comment on this product to enter to win.

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Few things calm a baby like being worn, and if you’d like to babywear in chic, eco-conscious style, check out Belle Baby Carriers. Today, Belle contributes to our online birthday party with their organic moss carrier. Easy to use, ergonomically designed, and environmentally friendly, baby can enjoy snoozing, cruising, and nursing in this sweet ride. Simply check out the rules after the jump and leave a comment on this cool carrier to enter to win.

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When the parks get too crowded or steamy during the summer, local museums and indoor play spaces are true lifesavers. And this Thursday (July 10), the Children’s Museum in Easton kicks off their Summer Drop-In Days with Ruff Ruffman from PBS’s FETCH! Drop by between 10:30 am - 3 pm to meet Ruff and enjoy activities and cake in the museum’s new outdoor learning center, The Wild Place.

Want to win one of two 4-packs of CME tickets to enjoy the FETCH! event*? Here’s how:

My friend Nooshi is amazing at identifying a cool party theme then really running with it. A couple of weekends ago she threw a marvelous Messy Party for her son’s third birthday and the party was unbelievably fun and beautifully creative. Here’s a run down of how she made it all happen:

Inspiration

Nooshi credits features from Martha Stewart Kids and Cookie Magazine as providing initial points of inspiration. (Although in my opinion, if you check out those features then read below, Nooshi took the idea to a whole new level!)

Invitations

The party invitations were comprised of finger painted flat cards by Nooshi’s son, covered with vellum with the printed party information over the top. The two layers can be attached using glue dots, ribbon, or metal fasteners.

Setting

Obviously, messy parties are best suited for warm weather birthdays. This party was held at one of the pavilions at Filipello Park in Watertown. A permit from the Town of Watertown Recreation Department is required to reserve the tables & grills (Nooshi suggests reserving well in advance). The site was terrific in that the pavilion we were at was right next to a tot lot (not part of the reservation), and also a short walk from the spray pool and restrooms.

Nooshi rented outdoor speakers that plugged right into an iPod; she reports that this was well worth the cost.

Activities

If your little one loves alien play - or simply enjoys squishing and sculpting - now you can provide the goods to create an alien army! Today, Hasbro contributes to our online birthday party with their Martian Matter Alien Maker. This spaceship play set includes the mix, molds, and tools so kids can create nearly 100 different colorful alien combinations. Simply check out the rules after the jump and leave a comment on this kit (or any other Hasbro item) to enter to win.

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Today, Carole Arsenault of Newborn Nurses offers breastfeeding basics for baby’s first two weeks:

“Many women read several breastfeeding books and take at least one breastfeeding class during their pregnancy. However, once baby arrives many women forget some important basic information, especially as it relates to the newborn’s first two weeks of life. Here are breastfeeding basics to keep in mind during the first two weeks.

Day One: The first few hours

When it comes to cloth diaper services, there’s a real supply and demand problem in the Boston area. But now there’s good news for parents who live south of the city. Sweet Pea Diaper Service is live as of this month and will swap out your soiled diapers for fresh ones for $21 - 26 per week depending on your diaper plan. Serving families in Norfolk and Bristol counties (plus parts of Rhode Island), we’re thrilled to welcome this new business as it meets both local and global needs.

Want to win a Sweet Pea Diaper Service starter plan*? Here’s how:

UPDATE (5/22/09): Sadly, Sweet Pea Diaper Service has gone out of business.

Welcome to the 3rd installment of Boston Mamas Rock! – where we’re giving a voice to fabulous local mamas, whether they be entrepreneurs, avid volunteers, stay at home moms, moms who have closet talents (e.g., community theatre, juggling, what have you…), authors, media professionals, politicians, professors, etc. Read on for today’s interview with Lauren Bellon, professional fundraiser turned yoga teacher, postpartum doula, and founder of Namaste Baby. Then go ahead and nominate yourself or a friend!

Lauren Bellon, Founder, Namaste Baby

Christine: Tell us a little bit about yourself Lauren. I know that you're a first time mom turned yoga teacher and used to work at Simmons College. Let's start with the Simmons piece – what did you do for work there? Did you feel passionate about, or vaguely enjoy, the work? And I have to ask – was your work environment supportive of your life as a new working mom?

Lauren: For the past five years, I worked in higher education advancement (fundraising) - most recently at Simmons College, and before that at my alma mater, Tufts University. At Tufts I had worked as a major gifts officer, traveling the country to build relationships with alums and then ultimately seeking gifts of $100,000 or more. I actually moved to Simmons because the travel requirements of my role at Tufts just didn't feel like they would work for me once I became a mom. The role I took on at Simmons was in donor relations - essentially working with faculty and administrators to say thank you and demonstrate the impact of gifts donors have already made. During my pregnancy, it felt like my dream job. I can't say enough good things about the people I was working with and especially about my manager and the relationship we developed. My husband and I had everything worked out - he was going to be a full-time dad, and I was going to keep building my career. But after my ten-week maternity leave was up and I returned to work, everything just felt different. I had never factored in what a burden my nearly hour long commute from Arlington to Boston would be and didn't realize that Kai would go to sleep for the night around 6:30 every night, leaving me very little waking time with him. I never imagined it would take more than a month for Kai to decide to accept bottles from my husband - that was an excruciating experience for all three of us. And I never knew how heartbroken I would feel being away from him full-time. What began as ambivalence about the return to work quickly turned into an all out internal rebellion. I just knew that I couldn't keep doing what I as doing.

Christine: Now you're an Itsy Bitsy Yoga teacher. Were you always a yoga enthusiast? How challenging was the certification process? Did you work on certification while still at Simmons?

Lauren: I'm actually just finishing up my certification process. I recently completed my community classes and expect to receive my certification shortly. I've practiced Ashtanga yoga for the past eight years at 02 Yoga in Somerville. But that's not how I came into contact with Itsy Bitsy Yoga®. Actually, when my husband and I realized that neither of us wanted to give up the time with Kai that full-time work required, we sort of threw up our hands and decided to let the universe guide us to a path that might work. We asked nearly everyone we knew for ideas, thinking that perhaps in a year or two of time, we could piece together some sort of business that would enable us to collaboratively earn the equivalent of at least one income while sharing our parenting and being home as much as possible. We were immediately flooded with really thoughtful and in some cases off-the-wall ideas from our friends and family. My friend Marissa actually suggested teaching IBY. She and her 2 1/2 year old daughter Tess have loved going to these classes, and she said their teacher at Together in Motion in Arlington was moving away. Marissa said she thought I would be a great teacher, that I had the right energy for it. I initially reacted with skepticism, thinking, "I'm not a yoga teacher...it takes forever to get trained as a yoga teacher!" For the heck of it, I went online, though, to Helen Garabedian's website (she's the creator of the program), and discovered that there was a training the very next weekend in Marlboro, MA. So it was Thursday night and the training began on Saturday. I looked at Bob and said, "You're going to think I'm crazy, but I think I should do this." Turned out that I didn't need to be trained as an adult yoga instructor to learn to teach these classes for babies and toddlers.

And I'm so glad I did!! I was blown away and inspired by the program. Helen has incredible depth of experience and training in infant development as well as in yoga, and with Itsy Bitsy Yoga® she created this incredible developmentally nutritious gift to parents and babies. It really helps parents meet their children where they are and appreciate them in so many ways. The babies and toddlers have a blast, and the classes really reinforce this amazing sense of their own bodies that still comes naturally at that age.

Seriously, I'm choking up just thinking about it. I was not a physically active kid, and for me, fitness and exercise were learned activities in adulthood. Yoga was sort of my gateway - it was the first practice that gave me permission to accept myself and appreciate my body and all it could do....it gave me the courage to take up running and face the emotions I had built up over time. I eventually finished the Boston Marathon, but when I started running with my husband (who has been a runner for most of his life), I couldn't finish a mile, and I would often have to run through a great deal of crying and upset and feelings of inadequacy. It sounds melodramatic, and well, it was. But that's the kind of baggage a lot of people carry about their bodies and movement from their childhoods. It's why I feel so blessed that I get to share Itsy Bitsy Yoga® with parents and their little ones...

Christine: Was it scary to make the leap from full-time salary to contract work? Or did you have one of those animal instinct moments and just run for the hills, like I did when I left academia?

Lauren: Oh good lord, yes, it's still scary. Because both of us are doing this. I'm teaching 12-15 hours a week of IBY, and also beginning to take on some postpartum doula work (at the suggestion of my own wonderful birth doula). My husband is starting an admissions consulting practice, working with high school students and their families to support them as they apply to colleges. That was another idea that came from one of our friends. The transition is definitely scary. We're not independently wealthy and we have a time frame of about a year to really make this work and develop our businesses enough to make up for neither of us working full-time.

But I would also classify it as you said - one of those animal instinct moments. Maybe more a series of those moments. As I said, we initially thought I'd continue to work at Simmons for a year or two more. I approached several facilities about teaching on Saturdays - none of them wanted Saturday classes, but it turned out that between classes I could teach during the week at Together in Motion, Isis Maternity, and Exhale Spa, I would have enough to make it feasible to leave my job immediately. It felt pretty surreal when I went to my first classes carrying a box containing beanie babies, stickers, and hula hoops and realized that I was "going to work." Although I have really enjoyed the work I've done in recent years, I think what I'm doing now - being a parent, teaching this program, supporting new parents as a postpartum doula, and hopefully soon through mindfulness groups for moms and dads - is much more my soul's work than anything I've done before.

Christine: What has been your favorite thing about working with moms and babies through yoga? And conversely, what's the most challenging thing?

Lauren: Hmmmm....I love so much about it. Seeing connections develop among new parents in the babies classes...hearing from moms that their toddlers talked about the class non-stop for the rest of the day or that they were doing yoga poses at home afterward. Reassuring parents of some of the younger toddlers that not only is it okay that their kids come in and out of the practice but that it's welcomed and expected. So often parents feel pressure to have their babes sit still to participate in an activity. That's anathema to this anathema to this program.

Most challenging...I teach three age groups: babies (3 weeks to pre-crawling), tots (crawling to 24 months), and tykes (21 months to 4 years old). The tots classes are by far the most challenging - but it's a fun challenge. There's a real range of developmental abilities in these classes, so I have to demonstrate to them all, and they're also a lot like little cavemen at that age. The tots definitely keep me on my toes!

Christine: You have a 6-month-old son – how does he respond to yoga classes? Do you bring him to classes with you as your demo partner?

Lauren: He loves it. Actually, he shared his first belly laugh with me while doing one of the poses! I use another of the poses to soothe him to sleep pretty frequently, several for calming him down if he's feeling fussy, others for bonding just because he gets so giggly and smiley when we do them. There are even a few poses for babies that help when they're struggling to pass gas or poop - they've been really helpful and relieving for him!

I don't use him as my demo partner in my babies classes, just because that would definitely take my focus away from the parents and babies attending, and it's important to me that I create the right kind of space for them and their practice. I have a life-like doll named Kaia who demos for me. My husband, however, often brings our son to my babies classes and Kai sometimes looks inquisitively at me, I think wondering what I'm doing with this other baby. They have a good time, though, and Bob (my husband) can give me really helpful feedback.

Christine: The mama who nominated you for feature said, "I admire Lauren's courage to try a whole new career while also learning the whole new role of motherhood." Do you have any tips to share on how you have juggled these two new roles?

Lauren: We're still just getting started on this new life we've created, so I might have more to say about this down the road. I have, however, already learned that I need to make really clear boundaries between the work I'm doing and my parenting, as does my husband. With all that I'm doing right now (I'm also still temporarily doing some consulting for Simmons), my very flexible schedule and work could easily morph into 40 hours a week of work. I think it's especially tempting to feel like everything has to get done immediately when you're self-employed. So Bob and I split our days half and half. Most days Kai gets quality time with each of us, and each of us also has a chance to work and to get a few things done around the house. I'm learning to realize that it's okay to table items on my to do list until another day, and am making the time I spend with Kai sacred.

I feel good, though, that the work I'm doing actually makes a direct contribution to my own parenting as well. I've learned so much about infant development and new parents through this work already, and I'll only keep learning more. A couple of years ago I realized I was losing the kind of ambition I had initially had after college - a drive for traditional career success. I decided then that I wanted my mission to be learning how to love the people in my life as well as I could. I think that's why it's felt so right to transition out of a successful career, even while people have told me that I could be a leader in that field.

Christine: What would be your key piece of advice for moms thinking of making a similar jump?

Lauren: Invest everyone in the kind of life you want to create for yourself. Be courageous and follow your heart and your gut.

Christine: Your nominator said you share the role of caretaking with your husband. Does he also work out of home? If so, do you have particularly effective strategies for how your split your responsibilities and keep from stepping all over one another?

Lauren: I mentioned that we split our days. We also build in some family time for all three of us, but the independent time is really important. The incredible gift we received from my return to work is that Bob and Kai have developed their own patterns and routines. Unlike some dads, Bob doesn't get overwhelmed if Kai is having a hard day, and he reads his cues as well as I do. While we share the same basic style and philosophy of parenting, we definitely do things differently. I, especially, have had to learn to back off and realize that my way of doing things is just that - my way. It's what works for me and Kai, and something else might work better for Bob with him.

Everything...parenting, work, household tasks...it's all an ongoing conversation and negotiation. Sometimes we do step on each other's toes - we do our best to be forgiving of ourselves and one another, and to learn from those experiences for the next time.

Christine: What has surprised you most in your role as a new mom?

Lauren: I knew I would love Kai, but it runs so much deeper than I ever could have imagined without experiencing it. Before Kai was born, I harbored a lot of fear about the sacrifices I thought I might have to make. I worried I would see less of the people I love and that I wouldn't be able to pursue the random dreams that occur to me every so often. Turns out that fear was totally unfounded. If anything, I feel so much more driven to do what I love - next year I'm going to do an adult yoga teacher training - because it seems imperative that I give my son the gift of a mom who loves everything about her life. I want him to grow up knowing that he can create a life that feels good to him.

Christine: And finally, what's your favorite thing about being a Boston mama?

Lauren: All the other Boston mamas! There are just so many young families here. We already had a strong sense of community among our friends, but that community just keeps getting wider now that we're also parents.

Know a fabulous local mama? Nominate yourself or someone else to be featured!

Posted by Christine Koh on 1 Jul 2008 | Permalink | Comments (2) | Filed in Beauty, Fitness & Wellness; Boston Mamas Rock!; Local

Nothing says summer like juicy beach reads and July fireworks, so we’ll start our online birthday party off with a bang with Hachette Book Group. Five winners each will receive a generous Hachette "Summer Reads" collection, including 14 books collectively valued at $272! Simply check out the title list and rules after the jump and leave a comment on this prize to enter to win.

Hachette “Summer Reads” collection includes: