Are You Her Mom?
Today, our friends at the Parent Bloggers Network are hosting a blog blast to celebrate the launch of their Body, Soul, & Baby
Anyone with a blog is invited to write on this topic today. Email your permalink to PBN – 2 entrants will receive an iPod shuffle and an autographed book! Meanwhile, here’s my take on the question (feel free to comment with alternate clever responses or share your own experiences if you don't have a blog):
While I certainly received my share of annoying questions/unsolicited advice regarding nursing, clothing, baby acne, excessive nose crusties, or anything else regarding how imperfectly I was handling my newborn, I think my most annoying question was/is one that presented itself in spoken and unspoken (raised eyebrow) form, and unfortunately persists to this day.
Laurel is what I like to call our little hybrid or home science project. She’s half Asian, half Caucasian and was born with a head of fine brown hair and blue eyes. The blue eyes have turned, but she’s still got brown hair that’s now showing blonde streaks from the summer sun. Definitely not too Asian looking.
Despite living in one of the US’s most overeducated cities, since birth, when Laurel and I are out and about on our own, I periodically get “Are you her mom? [Translation: Are you her nanny?]” looks or actual questions. This question bugs me out for obvious reasons, but also just seems plain weird given the wacky prevalence of Asian mom/Caucasian dad pairings that we see every day on the street.
During my nursing days, my snarky response would have been something like, “Yep, I’m the nanny. Have you seen The Hand that Rocks the Cradle? It’s kinda like that.” My current response, “I know, isn’t it totally weird? Her dad’s Asian too.”
The folks at PBN suggest, Don't you wish you could have just handed them this
Comments
And the sister question, "is she yours?" I get that more than you'd think, given that Lady looks like my twin who got stuck in the dryer. I've had a follow-up comment of, "oh, well how old are you? You don't look a day over 18! Certainly not old enough to have a toddler!" And, in fact, I'm 30 (almost, actually I'm 29 1/2 but 30 sounds better).
People are just plain stupid. Sometimes.
Posted by: chatty cricket | July 6, 2007 10:29 AM | Reply to this comment
my blog blast "why dont you get the booger out of his eye?" is up as well. I loved reading yours and your remarks are hilarious! Put 'em in their place. We are an interracially blended family as well. You wouldn't believe the looks I get when going places with my step-children.
Posted by: DOMESTIC DIVA | July 6, 2007 11:20 AM | Reply to this comment
My son looks just like me. And yet because I looked so young when he was first born, a lot of people asked me if he belonged to me.
One woman didn't ask, she just commented to her friend, "Wow, teen pregnancy is so tragic!"
I was 27 when I had him, hardly a teen!
Posted by: Kari | July 6, 2007 3:55 PM | Reply to this comment
I can think of a few off the top of my head (I'm sure there are way, way more). The first was when I was pg with #1...a complete stranger came up to me on the street and asked if I was having twins, since I was so huge! I was new to the snarky remark game, and just stood there staring dumbly. The second is later, about potty training, and has a sister question related to nursing. "When are you going to start training him/her?" or "Isn't he/she weaned yet?" My response has been "We have a plan, we're not worried." But, you can always remind people that they won't be nursing in college. The worst is definitely with my older son, who has multiple food allergies. People comment (in front of him, too!!!) that it's so unfortunate that he can't eat ice cream, chocolate, blah, blah, blah, which I just ignore. But, it's when they ask if I shouldn't be giving him little bits of it, so that he'll "get used to it", that I lose my mind. So, instead of trying to explain it anymore, I shake my head in a pitying kind of way, and move on. I haven't figured out a good response yet, but in my head they sound something like: "Well, I would but then he might die, and we wouldn't want that over a bit of ice cream, would we?" Clearly cannot say this in front of the kiddo, so I've got nothing on that one.
Posted by: tracyp | July 6, 2007 5:07 PM | Reply to this comment
I can't believe how bold people can be!
Posted by: Dana | July 6, 2007 9:04 PM | Reply to this comment