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« April 2007 | Main | May 2008 »

May 31, 2007

Bright Side of Disaster

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Every now and then a book reels me in so effectively that I forego sleep for story development. This was the case with The Bright Side of Disaster, which I finished the other night (morning, actually), several hours after Jon and Laurel had drifted off upstairs.

Bright Side (available in July, but you can preorder it now) is Katherine Center’s impressive, cheeky debut. And while a story about a deadbeat fiancée who bails on his pregnant wife may sound like troubling content for moms and moms-to-be, the spark and humor of the writing immediately created a central character (Jenny) I wanted to see through to the end.

Bright Side no doubt will stir up visceral memories for veteran moms (or give impending moms a preview of what’s to come). Center realistically portrays Jenny's abandonment of basic needs (food, sleep, hygiene) in the face of her new daughter's care, as well as the blisteringly raw relief of discovering mama peeps with whom it’s okay to air vulnerabilities, frustration, and fear. Also ringing familiar were basic relationship quandaries, such as whether it’s better to be single than in a crummy relationship, and the related, nasty temptation of staying in a relationship rut because it’s easy, familiar territory, even though there’s clearly a better option on the horizon (these are both disturbingly familiar scenarios from my pre-Jon days…).

There were a couple of points where Bright Side could have opted for simplistic sap, but Center deftly creates turns to add intrigue while keeping the story real and fallible. Although I have a tendency to cast people (famous or familiar) into the characters of the novels I read, Bright Side was such an entertaining ride that I wager it may actually become a movie.

Chicken Roulades

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When I first learned about turducken, I became convinced that every culture thrives on developing dishes where food is stuffed inside of more food (dumplings and empanadas are more common examples…). Today, Jules brings us a visually impressive yet easy chicken roulade recipe (shown; be sure to have the butcher pound the chicken into cutlets - I’ve always found that to be tough work). This dish stuffs the veggies inside of the protein, and would do well with brown rice or pasta. Click here for the printable recipe PDF.

May 30, 2007

Doctor In the House

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Laurel recently has shown an interest in healing, both via Western (doctor kits) and alterative (shamanic maraca shaking) practices. After hunting around online, I was really happy to find the basic (i.e., not a million tiny parts), inexpensive Fisher Price Medical Kit. The set includes interactive pieces (thermometer, syringe, blood pressure cuff, and a stethoscope that actually works against the skin), as well as an otoscope and bracelet style bandage. Also included is a soft tote, which is nice so you can add other tools - such as a shamanic maraca - easily (a common complaint of kits with hard cases is that it's tough fitting all the pieces back in), and the set is compact for travel.

We generally favor wooden over plastic toys and also considered the Haba Doctor’s Suitcase, but it’s missing the all important stethoscope, which Laurel really digs.

Little Storytellers

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With seven kids, my parents had no choice but to be minimalist when it came to toys (I got my first stuffed animal when I was 5 after my tonsillectomy). My sisters and I spent a lot of time drumming up stories and illustrating them with pen and filler paper. Those simpler times are no longer the norm, but kids are the same – blessed with fabulously active imaginations. This is never more evident to me than when I see Laurel on her own or with her preschool pals, jabbering away during pretend play.

To further encourage inspiration in your little storyteller, check out Poopasnuffas. These bright, cheerily googly-eyed characters (shown; PooPooDragon) serve as the inspiration for bibs, onesies (3-24 months), and tees (3 months-12 years), as well as tales penned by budding authors. Stories rotate based on regular contests where kids up to 12 years old are invited to submit a story they’ve invented about a Poopasnuffas character. The winning stories are included on the Poopasnuffas website and with garment orders, and the winning authors receive a certificate of appreciation and a free Poopasnuffas t-shirt. And even if your kid’s story doesn’t get published, you’ll have a great keepsake to tuck away with their art and school photos. I would do anything to get my hands on some of the storyboards that my sisters and I conjured up as kids.

May 29, 2007

The Blog Reader Project

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Dear Readers: We’re extremely grateful that Blogads helps bring some of the sponsors you see on the right sidebar of Boston Mamas, and we hope you'll participate in their ongoing Blog Reader Project, a survey geared towards helping bloggers, readers, journalists, politicians, and advertisers better understand individual blogs and their readers. The survey takes about 12 minutes to complete start to finish, but you can bail any time after the first page or leave answers blank as you go along. Click here to get started. Thank you!

Totally Wired

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As a daily blogger who’s long been technically savvy (I learned to build web pages when HTML was the only way to do it), it may seem surprising that as of a year ago, I barely was aware of blogs, and that I currently intentionally keep texting, IMing, and Skype off my radar (it’s a preventative thing, given how much time I already spend with my laptop). As a parent though, keeping up with the technological times is as much a safety necessity as a means to try to keep communication channels open. If the lingo seems overwhelming, Anastasia Goodstein’s Totally Wired: What Teens and Tweens Are Really Doing Online likely will provide clarity.

Goodstein is a blogger keen on teen/tween/early twenty something culture. In Totally Wired, she uses expert, teen, teacher, and parent interviews to portray what teens are doing on the Internet and with technology. Particularly effective is the manner in which she draws parallels between old and new means of adolescent communication (e.g., phone vs. online chat, diary vs. blog) to show that teens are the same as they were decades ago (bullying unfortunately is still ever present, it just now can be faceless); they just have a shinier, more expensive set of communication tools with which to work. Thankfully, Goodstein’s book can help you get up to speed in a hurry (she includes useful tidbits such as a glossary, and popular text/IMing acronyms); the teen years are tough enough without adding an additional barrier to hinder your connection with your kid.

May 28, 2007

Crib Rock Contest Ending Soon!

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May is almost over so be sure to enter to win a luxe tee from Crib Rock Couture if you haven’t already done so. Five (yes, five!) lucky winners will get to pick a short-sleeved tee of their choice (infant, jersey, or cap sleeve) from the Crib Rock collection (shown; Kids’ Three Blind Mice in tangerine; $37). Tees are available in sizes from infants to tweens. This contest is open to US residents only.

Memorial Day Festivals

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If you’re looking for an adventure during today’s blissful day off, check out the buskers at the Faneuil Hall Street Performers Festival (11am – 6pm; and hit Beard Papa’s if you’ve got a craving for sweets...), or the Art, Flowers & All That Jazz Festival in Newburyport (10am – 5pm). The latter event includes music, arts and crafts, food, and a special music and story area for kids.

May 25, 2007

Weekly Web Finds

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And now for our weekly dose of web highlights from some of our stylish blog partners:

SheFindsMom wants you to weigh in on the great Croc debate (fashionable and functional, ugly but comfortable, or you'd rather go barefoot?). Coochicoos invites you to see the freshest new baby furniture designs on display at this year's ICFF Design Show. Classy Mommy’s got raves for the vintage inspired infant and toddler wear by Jack & Jill, especially the tee and pant gift sets that come delivered in a Jack & Jill Pail. Clever Parents reviews Vincent Shoes, designs cool enough for the runway or playground. One Chic Mama advocates for Danger Rangers when it's time to teach kids safety. And check out Babyfaces’ gorgeous photo of the week, Girl with Flower.

Good Mommy, Bad Mommy

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Not surprisingly, as a daughter (raised by traditionalists), mom, and parenting publisher, I think a lot about the challenges of contemporary motherhood. This Sunday (7 pm EST, or subscribe to the show with iTunes) you can tune in to a fascinating chat that esteemed New York based writer Felicia Sullivan will be hosting on her new radio show, Writers Revealed. Felicia will chat live with critically acclaimed authors Sabina Murray, Elissa Schappell, Liesel Litzenburger, and Victoria Redel on fractured families in contemporary literary fiction, emphasizing the bad mother. They’ll also discuss the boomer mother vs. today’s mom (e.g., issues, pressures, concerns, mom as best friend gone wrong) and what it means to be a good mother.

If you have a question for the authors about their work or anything in general, leave a comment at the episode post. If your question is asked on the air, you’ll win a free book!

Shake Up the Grill

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If you’re looking to shake up your Memorial Day BBQ, consider adding this Asian inspiration. My brother-in-law loves bulgogi (a popular Korean marinated beef dish), and when he was in town last weekend I developed a new, easy recipe that won raves around the table (shown, marinated bulgogi; click thumbnail to enlarge). This marinade also can be used for Korean kalbi (short ribs). It was pouring last weekend so grilling wasn’t an option (we pan fried instead), but bulgogi and kalbi always makes me think of my Dad, who used to transform our standard grill into a Korean BBQ by covering the grill with tin foil and poking holes in the foil with a chopstick so the thinly sliced meat wouldn’t fall through the slats.

Click here for the printable recipe PDF. Cold bulgogi makes for fab sandwich fixings the next day; if you have any leftovers, that is.

May 24, 2007

Catwalking Tall

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During high school and college summers, I scooped ice cream at one of the local best, back when the tip cup was novel; reserved for truly effortful duty such as hand packing quarts of ice cream. My less physically strenuous adult equivalent is a celadon jar, in which I toss cash procured from random Craigslist sales or bills discovered in last season’s pockets. There’s something oddly thrilling about hitting the retail pavement with a wad of cash that feels like free money. It also makes me feel less guilty about splurging on a great find.

Yesterday my jar delivered a pair of shoes that I can’t wait to rock this holiday weekend. Ann Taylor’s Noel Cork Platforms (shown in red; $108) cleverly combine woven straw, patent leather, and cork into a chic sandal that will serve duty at a wedding and likely also for brunch, paired with dressy shorts. My feet tend not to be the easiest to fit (all the more reason to splurge when I find a good pair), but catwalking on the 3+ inch heels (Jon insisted…) wasn’t even that onerous thanks to the padded foot bed.

Cool & Cultured

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For a cool and cultured respite from the rising temperatures, consider this indoor activity, per guest contributor Kate:

“As a parent, lazy mornings of reading the newspaper and leisurely afternoons at the movies quickly are replaced by kid-oriented adventures. However, one hallmark activity of adulthood - visiting art exhibitions - need not be left behind. Currently on view in a surprisingly stroller-friendly gallery, Edward Hopper offers a chance not only to learn about a major American painter - and appreciate his images of mid-20th century New England - but also to introduce your little one to the rituals of art viewing. The exhibit can be seen in 30 minutes or less, and the galleries offer plenty of baby/toddler distractions: interesting lighting, painted color, lots of people to watch. The official policy of the MFA is to allow strollers in all galleries except at peak crowding, but the practice in reality seems be that strollers are always permitted (and no ticket is required).”

Check with your local library about discounted admission passes!

May 23, 2007

Smoothing Support

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Despite the warm weather, sometimes fashion or desire dictates the need for the smoothing effects of hose. Reader Ali from South Hamilton wrote in with praise for Mama Spanx:

“Many women are familiar with Spanx, the undergarment revolution of wearer-friendly body slimmers. For pregnant moms, there are now a variety of maternity Spanx styles that support and smooth your changing body. Mama Spanx come in mid-thigh (a.k.a. power panty), footless (in nude or black), and full-length (in nude or black) versions. Bands support your belly and thighs without needing to resort to those large, harness-like pregnancy girdles.”

Boston Organics

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If you’re looking to simplify your shopping routine and enjoy a variety of organic groceries delivered to your doorstop, check out Boston Organics. Reader Jude from Medford (a happy Boston Organics customer for almost four years) wrote in with high praise for the Weekly Box service. The variety of produce encourages her family to try new foods, and her kids even see the delivery box and shout “fruit and veggies!” (she can’t guarantee that as a result for everyone, of course…).

Box options start at $27 and can include fruits, vegetables, or a mix of the two delivered every week or every other week. And if you have allergies or aversions to certain produce, you can request to not have them included in your produce box. Boston Organics also recently has added a variety of other grocery items to choose from, including bread, chocolate, and dairy. Click here to see their delivery areas.

May 22, 2007

Little Village

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We’re blessed to have a terrific core of local parent friends, and we often daydream about pooling resources to buy a commune so we can hang with our friends while enjoying village-style parenting “economies of scale.”

While our dream village won’t materialize unless the real estate market tanks (and we can get our friends to agree on a central location), we’ve recently come pretty close to this scenario via some lovely afternoons with our neighbors and their two granddaughters.

Last week, the adults enjoyed the unveiling of summer lawn furniture with snacks and drinks while the girls rode tricycles on the grass and walkways. And yesterday there weren’t even any toys involved as the girls alternately romped on the lawn (the 7 year old tried to teach the preschoolers to do cartwheels) and helped with gardening projects.

Yesterday in particular, there was something so touching and simple and reminiscent about seeing these three balls of energy roll around on the grass, laughing hysterically. As a parent accustomed to urban dwellings where the “backyard” is a sidewalk periodically littered with broken glass, bottle caps, and dog poop, seeing the expression of joy and discovery when Laurel asked if she, too, could play barefoot on the grass like her friends was priceless. And I was amazed to see the extent to which the girls could entertain one another purely through movement (Laurel's cartwheels involved lying prone on the ground, then flipping her legs from side to side), and on a very modest piece of grass at that, as evidenced by several crashes and near misses. Less clearly was more.

We’re grateful for our immediate little village, and I’ll continue to daydream about expanding it so our other friends can come play.

Piggy Party

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We have yet to encounter allergies with Laurel, so we’re thrilled that guest contributor Tracy is willing to share some of her knowledge, tips, and tricks from parenting a son with severe food allergies. Today, Tracy writes on the (lovely yet simple) birthday party she recently held for her younger son, inspired by If You Give a Pig a Party. The finale included a fabulous allergy-friendly piggy cake:

“At our house, we’ve enjoyed reading Laura Numeroff’s “If you give a…” series. My younger son’s favorite is the original If You Give a Pig a Pancake, but we’ve also enjoyed If You Take a Mouse to the Movies at many a bedtime. On the lookout for a theme for his 3rd birthday, I stumbled upon If You Give a Pig a Party. Voila. Instant party theme. I purchased the book, set up our playroom with a blanket fort and balloons (as shown in the book), and turned his three daycare friends and him loose to play. I kept goody bags simple, including quick, personalized foam door hangers (using pre-made foam supplies from a local craft store) and self-stick foam pigs and letters.

For the cake, I built the Fat Piggy Cake from FamilyFun.com, modifying their instructions slightly by making a layer cake with a cupcake nose, and ½ cupcake ears. The kids loved it. The cake was constructed using my super easy and yummy Wacky Cake recipe. It’s wacky because it has no eggs, butter, or milk (the recipe is believed to have its origins during the Depression when pricey ingredients like dairy products were hard to come by), yet still bakes up light and moist. And the best thing about this recipe is that it’s allergy-friendly (my older son has multiple serious food allergies).

Stay tuned for my follow-up post with tips for hosting or attending parties when food allergies are a concern.”

Click here for the printable PDF including Tracy’s Wacky Cake and frosting recipes.

May 21, 2007

What's Your Sign?

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Whether or not you believe in astrology, it’s tough to resist the fun of trait matching, whether it’s via daily horoscopes, zodiac animal charts on Chinese restaurant placemats, or – for the more dedicated – analysis of potential star crossedness in books such as Linda Goodman’s Love Signs (which my sisters and I used to pore over in high school).

However you indulge, the cute zodiac tees by AG bella offer good fodder to talk traits (likely the positive ones!) at your babe’s next play date. In sizes from newborn to 2 years, AG bella’s playful zodiac designs are uniquely rendered on woven labels to keep the color fresh wash after wash (in background colors for boys or girls; shown Baby Scorpio on pink). Designs can be applied to bodysuits, tees, or pants.

Mexican Stuffed Peppers

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It’s an amazing milestone to get beyond nursing and solid food purees to the stage where your kids can eat whatever you’re eating. But then the challenge shifts to figuring out healthful and easy meals for the whole family. Today, guest contributor Jules (our resident professional foodie) offers a recipe that packs a nutritional and visually vibrant punch. Click here for the printable PDF of Jules’s Fast & Healthy Mexican Stuffed Peppers (shown; click thumbnail to enlarge). Enjoy!

May 18, 2007

Weekly Web Finds

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And now for our weekly dose of web highlights from some of our stylish blog partners:

Coochicoos has found a simple Swedish harness that holds baby in any chair without need for a high chair (shown). SheFindsMom also has the dish on mealtime goodies, featuring highchairs, dinnerware, and bibs galore to make mealtime fun with kids. Clever Parents reviews a multi-purpose, high quality baby blanket that secures to strollers, nursing moms, baby carriers, swings, and more. Classy Mommy offers a chance to win some great celebrity baby swag that was given to stars like Marcia Cross and Patrick Dempsey (valued at over $450). One Chic Mama’s got raves for the L'Oreal Paris Style Space Traveling Expo. And Babyfaces’ Little Miss Bright Eyes is too sweet.

Dare to Be Dangerous

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Jon and I once lived in an apartment with a defunct covered fireplace that became inhabited by a wayward squirrel. Horrified, I vacated the premises, leaving Jon to handle the situation. It seemed, as my mom would say, “man work.” And in this and other instances – particularly those involving vermin, giant bugs, or broken electronics – I’ve wondered about the onus and origin of man work. Does the know-how come from camp, Boy Scouts, MacGyver memories?

The modern answer may very well be The Dangerous Book for Boys. There’s no chapter dedicated to squirrel catching (which Jon humanely handled with a trash can and golf club for squirrel nudging), but Dangerous provides excellent fodder to bring back the marvelous, lazy days of summer inquiry, offering the how-to on everything from survival (e.g., knots, first aid, spy codes, tree houses), to gadgets (e.g., batteries, timers and tripwires), to literacy (e.g., grammar, poetry, Latin phrases), to sporting rules, to world history and landmarks, to tales of bravery and adventure.

May 17, 2007

Must Have Manipulatives

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In anticipation of summer travel, I’ve started sussing out cool, compact travel toys, and was reminded of one of our favorites: Lauri’s fabulous manipulatives. Lauri's Primer Pack is an expanded version of a small tote we own (no longer available), and offers great bang for your buck. Made of textured, easy to handle rubber, the set includes a 25-piece "locktagon" construction set, lacing and tracing cards and shapes, an alphabet puzzle, and four little shape puzzles.

Another great Lauri item for home and travel is the Stacker Pegs & Pegboard set. As homage to her love of all things covered in frosting, Laurel has taken to serving her finished pegboard creations as cake.

First Newsletter Giveaway!

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Per a previous post, our twice monthly newsletters periodically will include random draw giveaways thanks to the generosity of sponsors. We’re pleased to announce that our latest newsletter was sponsored Fun Well Done, who gifted a 3 month craft of the month set (shown) to lucky subscriber Jennifer from Natick, MA. Congrats Jennifer, and thank you Fun Well Done!

Subscribe to our mailing list for automatic entry to future exclusive newsletter subscriber giveaways!

May 16, 2007

The Organic Mom

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If the day-to-day chaos of parenting has left you longing for mindful reconnection, consider this tip from reader Joan from Southeastern Mass. Joan recently discovered The Organic Mom, an independent, ad-free magazine published in Massachusetts, whose net proceeds benefit environmental education and hunger relief programs. The Organic Mom’s pages - printed on 100% post consumer recycled paper with soy ink – offer a community forum where the stories, art, and poetry of all age groups can come together (click here for writer & artist guidelines).

Unusual in its ad-free format, The Organic Mom is sustained by subscriptions ($29 print or $16 digital for 4 issues), grants, and donations. You also can opt to buy one print or digital issue if you’d like to peruse prior to subscription.

Queen Bees & Wannabes

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Coming from a family of 7 where hand me downs were the norm, middle school offered tough love on the fashion front. At lunch, the exclusion factor was especially obvious via a table of girls who set inclusion parameters as owning at least 5 pairs of Guess jeans and 5 Benetton sweaters.

Some great friends kept me grounded during that time, but it’s hard not to feel disheartened that Laurel no doubt will face her own version of this scenario in the future. The good news is that today, our parent education specialist Amy Cody offers a great resource to help you help your daughter survive cliques and other inevitable adolescent nasties:

“As my daughter and I suffered through her middle school friendship situations, I kept a book by my bed that I referred to as some would to a bible. In Queen Bees and Wannabes, Rosalind Wiseman uses the knowledge she has garnered from more than a decade of listening to thousands of adolescent girls talk about the all-powerful clique to let parents into that often notorious circle of influence that shapes their teenage daughters personas. She dissects each role of the clique, including Queen Bees, Wannabes, Sidekicks, and Torn Bystanders, and discusses girls' power plays; from birthday invitations to cafeteria seating arrangements to illicit parties. She goes on to candidly address sensitive issues like teasing, gossip, and reputations, beauty and fashion, and social taboos like alcohol, drugs, boys, and sex. In our world of fast-paced media and marketing influences, it seems to me that the powerful influence of cliques is affecting our daughters earlier than ever before.

Enlivened with the voices of dozens of girls and parents, and Wiseman's welcome sense of humor, this book offers a conversation piece and reference guide that perfectly lends itself to discussion and shared insights into the world that is your daughter's: the world of friendships, Queen Bees, and Wannabees.”

May 15, 2007

Grip As You Tip

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Hot yoga is all the rage these days, and the practice’s popularity often leads to steamy, crowded classes where balance is essential to prevent yogi dominoes. Today, guest contributor Sharon (who currently is rocking a 40 day yoga challenge) shares a product that keeps her practice styling and slip free:

“I recently learned of an item that helps create a safer environment for yoga practice. Essential while doing wheels, inversions, or any posture that compromises balance and safety on a regular yoga or fitness mat, the Yogitoes Skidless Yoga Towel provides traction and grip as you tip. Place the towel over your regular yoga mat; the face up side is absorptive while the face down side features silicone nubs that grip the mat, keeping hands and feet in place even when the sweat starts to flow (a little sprinkle of water on the absorptive side pre-session also helps get the traction going). Now you can meditate and breathe into the burn of a pose rather than worry whether your wheel is going to be a back flop, or if your headstand is going to land you in the hospital (or atop a neighboring yogi).

Mats are vibrantly colored and packaged in an eco-friendly manner of less is more. Yogitoes has an altruistic base of fundraising for cancer awareness and also uses earth-friendly and sustainable materials. Namaste!"

Editor’s Note: As seen in the picture, despite the silicone nub side, this mat indeed folds down compactly like a regular towel, making it especially convenient for travel or commuting if your studio offers mats for free use or for rent.

Animal Lotto

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During a recent toy rotation (we’re big fans of “what’s old is new again”), we rediscovered Laurel’s nifty Animal Lotto game. We have yet to play with the game in intended bingo style (the chipboard set includes four playing boards showing 9 baby animals each, and 36 individual animal tiles to match to the boards), but little animal enthusiasts will dig the game pieces regardless. As a toddler, Laurel loved looking at the animal pictures, and then one day blew our doors off by matching all the tiles to the boards. We do more of the same now, but accompanied by rounds of “Old MacDonald.”

May 14, 2007

Slow & Lazy Composting

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Continuing on the inadvertent vein of multi tasking workouts: I’ve been on a bit of an eco bender recently, particularly disturbed by how much biodegradable waste ends up in our trash. A while back we looked into urban composting but were overwhelmed by the contraptions and logistics; so we were thrilled when our neighbors invited us to join in their “slow & lazy” composting. Yesterday I tidied and turned the compost, which ended up being a great whole body workout (read: I hurt all over today). I was so inspired by the simplicity of their method that I asked our neighbors to write up their how to:

“1. Choose an area for your compost pile, preferably out-of-sight and not too close to walkways (it can get odiferous on hot days). You can make a simple heap or pile, but some kind of fence or edging will keep it more contained.

2. Simply toss on fallen leaves, fruit and produce scraps from your kitchen; especially rich in nutrients are green veggies and fruits, coffee grounds with filter, tea bags, and eggshells for minerals. It is handy to have a container by your kitchen sink, and perhaps a second one to use until you empty the first one when it gets full.

Avoid protein plants such as beans, tofu, and grains/rice/bread because these attract animals. Grass cuttings are great if you collect them, but not if you use non-organic weed killers. Better yet, let the cuttings fall as you cut the grass so they add natural compost without any effort.

3. Every spring, rake or shovel the new, un-decomposed compost on top of the pile to one side, and dig out the rich, dark compost underneath. Use this "black gold" for new plantings or to spread a thin, nutritious layer over your grass or flower beds.

4. If you want to speed the process along, add a layer of manure, water the pile in hot, dry weather, and turn it twice a year.”

For more information, check out the EPA’s guide to composting.

Perfectly Good Parenting

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The mind is a powerful thing. And unfortunately, mommy mind games have become the bread and butter of this age of extreme parenting.

The topic is well on the radar of parents and professionals. Recently, parenting expert Katie Allison Granju wrote on the over-parenting crisis for Babble, and psychologist Ann Dunnewold’s new Even June Cleaver Would Forget the Juice Box offers strategies to help moms wade out of the mind game quagmire. This morning I’ll share my thoughts on this book per a review for the Parent Bloggers Network.

Dr. Dunnewold is expert in counseling women suffering from postpartum depression and anxiety. Through Even June Cleaver, she uses client scenarios and a cognitive therapeutic approach to frame her case; that extreme parenting reflects an obsessed need for control that results in overperfecting (trying to measure up to Martha), overprotecting (is there really a "wrong crowd" at 18 months old?), and overproducing (it’s trouble if your toddler needs a PDA). These pillars of extreme parenting are perpetuated by “mommy thinking traps” (e.g., perceived societal shoulds, our own absolute or “awfulizing” thinking), and Dunnewold advocates for a mindset shift geared towards “perfectly good” parenting; that, in fact, you can be a great parent and raise great kids as a normal, flawed human being. She offers advice to challenge/avoid mommy thinking traps, and concrete, every day examples of irrational, self-critical thinking (e.g., “[I’m the] meanest mommy ever”) and their reality-based, perfectly good translations (e.g., “These kids will learn about real feelings”). Related to the semi-recent media blitz on praising for effort over achievement, I found especially interesting the idea that developing thinking that is free of shoulds, absolutes, and awfulizing is not only good for mom, but helps kids avoid perfectionism and unrealistic expectations. Kids already tend to see things in black and white (e.g., being good or bad), and a “perfectly good lens” can help define stress and anxiety reducing middle ground.

I’m a trained experimental psychologist (married to a therapist-to-be) who has logged countless therapy hours breaking down my perfectionist belief system as it relates to parenting, my family and friends, and my professional life (via the fascinating Enneagram system); subsequently, the general ideas in Dunnewold’s book actually were not new to me. But familiar or not, Dunnewold's case is solid and she presents her methods for working towards a solution in clear terms. She also is refreshingly honest in acknowledging that reversing habits and fighting the peer pressure tide will be challenging and slow. But clearly – given the countless times I've seen moms clearly blame themselves for their kid's "imperfect behavior" (verbally or via a look of utter dejection and humiliation) – it's a fight worth fighting. And all the better, according to Dunnewold, if you can engage your partner and other like minded mommy friends in the battle.

Yes, the mind is a powerful thing. But the good news is that if you have the power to work yourself into an unraveling mommy frenzy, then you’ve also got the goods to follow your instincts and work on standing tall in the face of the mental mommy bullies.


May 12, 2007

Just Ducky

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As a former high school color guard member turned percussionist turned trumpet player (impressive confession, no?), I have a soft spot in my heart for pomp and circumstance. Tomorrow (Sunday, May 13) you can join families in Boston’s annual Duckling Day Parade. Kids are invited to come decked out in ducky duds; the parade retraces the Mallard family’s steps from Robert McCloskey’s Make Way for Ducklings.

The parade starts at noon; registration ($25 per family) begins at 11 am on the Boston Common, across from the State House.

May 11, 2007

Weekly Web Finds

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And now for our weekly dose of web highlights from our stylish blog partners:

Cool Stuff: The new Foogo line by Thermos is just what every parent on the go needs. Foogo has a line of sippy cups (with and without handles), straw cups, and food jars that are designed to prevent the growth of bacteria; the straw cup (shown) keeps drinks cool for up to 12 hours (from Classy Mommy). Trying to shed the last of the baby weight? Jump start your workout with these fab gifts for Mother’s Day and beyond (from SheFindsMom). Who says bling is for grown-ups, Metro Mamma creates a baby wrap with bling for even the littlest bodies (from The Stylish Child). See how easy the new Bugaboo Bee Stroller folds up (from Coochicoos). A solution to all your craft problems courtesy of Fun Well Done run by the very clever Jennifer Giattino (from Clever Parents).

Yummy Yummy: This diptych of a little girl and her feet captured everyone's hearts this week (from Babyfaces). As Patrick Dempsey adjusts to life as a dad of twin boys, he says he still wants to make his wife swoon (from Celebrity Moms). Send in a tip on being one chic mama and you'll have a chance to win a dozen healthy donuts (from One Chic Mama).

What Makes You a Mother?

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I’m part of the Parent Bloggers Network and today they, in conjunction with LightIris (whose founder Kevin has been sporting a Preggo Suit this month), are inviting all bloggers to post today on the topic, “What Makes You a Mother?" E-mail PBN your permalink today; one lucky entrant will win a $100 gift certificate to Spa Finder. Meanwhile, here’s my take on the question:

Being physically connected from Millisecond one.

Periodically feeling completely Overwhelmed trying to negotiate life, family, and work balance.

Treasuring those early, intense, depleting, wonderful, terrifying days of nursing and baby care.

The joy of Having a tight knit group of loving yet periodically (and thankfully honest) freaked/frustrated mama pals who have made clear what great parenting and friendship is all about.

Experiencing a deepened connection with my mom, which in turn has made me ever more grateful to have grown up with both of my grandmothers in our household.

Having been forced - by virtue of motherhood completely ripping you out of your comfort zone – to Re-evaluate and make changes; to reconnect with Jon post-baby, to make a huge professional leap so that my hours away from Laurel made an iota of sense, to abandon the idea of perfection... Structuring life on my own terms has given me more joy and energy to be a mom, wife, daughter, sister, professional, etc.

May 10, 2007

Scoop and Dump

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Preschoolers love helping out, so this morning, in anticipation of tomorrow’s rain, I engaged Laurel to help prep our first garden; she jumped right in with her bucket and shovel to scoop and dump. It didn’t take long for me to turn the soil and Laurel wanted to keep digging, so I brought out a lawn chair and book. It was almost embarrassingly luxurious to enjoy the fresh air, read, and periodically chat about bugs and stones with Laurel while she shoveled away.

Whether you have a little square of yard or indoor pots, try a gardening project with your kids. Yes, it can get messy, but it’s a fun way for them to experience nature, and I’m hoping (but not holding my breath…) that Laurel’s investment in the project might translate to veggie consumption. For those of you interested in joining in…we actually have next to no experience gardening, so we're trying peas, radish, and beets; all allegedly easy to grow in New England. Also, I have heard that you often get what you pay for with cheap grocery seeds so we picked up our seeds at Pemberton Farms in Cambridge. As for process, other than tilling the soil and waiting for rain, we're just going to follow the directions on the packets and hope for growth.

Scrumptious Scones

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If you plan on enjoying Mother’s Day brunch at home this weekend, put in a strong hint for a batch of these fantastic scones (click here for the printable PDF), created by guest contributor Kate and her husband Jonathan. When Kate and I last met up for dinner, she brought me a small fleet of the crystallized ginger variety (shown; crystallized ginger) and they were fabulous; buttery, crunchy on the outside, and the sugary ginger added the perfect kick. Even Jon, typically a pillar of resistance against late night snacking, couldn’t resist sampling when I arrived home with the goods.

If ginger isn't your thing, Kate & Jonathan's recipe offers other fruit substitution suggestions.

UPDATE: We learned of a typo in the recipe. The curry powder (previously listed in the ingredients but not the recipe) is mixed with the dry ingredients in step 3. We have corrected the PDF. Thanks!

May 9, 2007

Westcoast Baby

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Once upon a time, baby clothes were nondescript, forgettable, easily misplaced items. That’s all changed in this era of baby chic, and you won’t be able to take your eyes off of the vivid designs from westcoast baby.

The westcoast collection includes newborn layette pieces and cheeky, patterned clothing and accessories for the 3 months and up crowd. Their signature layette includes snuggly cotton stretch jersey beanie hats, blankets, and kimono wraps in a fresh yet classic color palette, great for “bringing home baby” photos and every day. We especially love the vibrant orange kimono with chocolate piping (shown; $25.95) for its color as well as its easy tie closures, fold over cuffs, and open end for easy diapering. The 3 months+ collection includes cheerfully patterned pants, kimono tops, dresses, and accessories; their bibs and burp cloths are reversible (decorative fabric on one side, mess-absorbing terry on the reverse), and their generously sized, peanut shaped burp cloths fit beautifully over the shoulder.